food, loved ones, good books : craving all three

last fall two of my favorites, marte and mercedes, came over to make things pretty in the backyard...
once upon a time when we actually had a backyard all to ourselves.

anyway, i was just browsing through the ol' archives and came across these images
that i never got around to posting. it was so fantastic to watch marte's creative brain working
and to see mercedes naturally sit herself into the entire dreamy scene.

i could really go for some homemade macarons and a good book right about now...
just a few more hours of work ahead of me, and then on to cooking for the big day tomorrow.
by friday i should be able to put my feet up a bit.

hawaii : the delicious contrast that is reading "heart of darkness" in paradise

i must admit that i get immense pleasure out of reading a dark and fraught text...
and heart of darkness has to be one of the richest novellas out there.
it is blood-pulsing fascinating to read a book in which the wilderness is something
that will swallow up your soul, and leave you as a mere whisper of a voice;
it is troublesome to read a text full of racist sentiments and psychological threats;
it is a text that will never have answers.
my favorite.

this short text kept me "busy" on the beach for a good four days.
love beach reading.

these winter nights & pages i've been turning

this is what these photos and my nights sound like

nights spent alone in the colder months seem to be more lonely than usual:

i eat my meals with no companion but my laptop, which is a bad habit to get into--

at least i can have a semblance of a conversation with pretty images and words on the interwebs.

maybe one of these nights i'll embrace my alone-ness and simply have my meal

while watching the flicker of a lit candle...except tonight is my last night alone for a few months!

each night i  have turned on my twinkle lights and lit a few candles...trying to make this place feel and look warm, despite our old leaky windows that ceej usually protects me against with his big hugs.

i look at pretty photos of europe covered with winter, and pine forests quiet as snow falls

while i sip my hot spiced milk.

i fall asleep reading. i've decided to revisit steinbeck's pages as i'm trying to brush up a bit

on my twentieth century american literature for a class i'll be taking come january.

i am happy with thoughts of going to class again. reading. discussing. writing. melting.

perhaps next i'll visit mr. eliot, zora,  or ms. morrison...or maybe delve into the ever difficult, but rewarding gertrude. and i finally have an excuse to read some more history books.

i also get to delve into literature i never have before: restoration british literature.

it's a bit intimidating going into a graduate classroom that i know little about its literature, politics, or history. 

but, ah, school. i love it. i'm giddy just thinking of it.

but, i digress...

my nights have been lonely. but somehow they've been pretty.

i love my starry lights, my warm drinks as i turn pages filled with pulsing words and images,

and my music as i fall asleep trying to keep warm alone in a bed too big for this one person.

cj's plane lands tomorrow night...he'll be back at home,

and our home will significantly increase its warmth.

hoping your weekend has been warm and restorative. 

best parenting book i've ever found...not that i'm a parent nor plan on being one anytime soon

i found this makes-me-think-that-parenthood-might-be-survivable book

while browsing the "science & nature" section at my local bookstore.

glee is exactly what entered my little outside-loving heart as i flipped through pages

that told me how to listen to the heartbeat of a tree, find hibernating butterflies,

have a snail race, and on and on and on. pure joy. i bought the book.

i took it home. and then it hit me:

this is the best parenting book i've ever read {it's the only "parenting" book i've ever read}.

this is what will give me sanity as a parent: it will get us all outside, my favorite place to be.

and we'll all get to be curious and we'll get to have lots of fun, simple projects,

and i won't feel so isolated {one of my biggest fears of motherhood}, right?

yes, this book will get us all outside day after day...throughout all seasons...

at least, that's my idealistic dream right now.

if you are a parent and are smirking at my little dream right now,

please don't burst my bubble. i'd rather experience it when that time comes.

by the way, there's a killer website for the book that you could check out right this minute.

in love with these pages and petals

currently reading about elizabeth, shakespeare, donne, and milton...

i love studying for classes that allow me to learn in such depth

about the history surrounding such genius literature and poetry.

and these spring flowers (peonies, ranunculus, and tulips in particular)

are really making my study areas and office so incredibly pretty and light.

i think having fresh flowers to help me study or work is going

to be a difficult habit to break.

plain jane...

this book deserves my very favorite adjective : haunting.
from the moment jane was locked in the red room where she passed out from fear
to her first meetings with the mysterious, yet magically open with jane, mr. rochester,
i was intrigued with images of foggy mornings and evenings at thornfield hall
and near-death incidents brought on by an unknown/unseen member of the household.
as the seasons passed and jane battled her growing love for her master.
i loved her brain and her attempts to save her own heart and let reason rule...
but oh how i was relieved when both heart and mind won her over in the end.

i finished the final pages rejoicing in such a happy union {full of tension, of course}
and was happy to finally make my way to the theater for a matinee viewing of the
newest film version of this story.
was happy indeed with how it turned out...i thought it very haunting indeed.
as with all films adapted from novels, many details were left out, but i didn't mind at all.
i could fill in the blanks and it felt incredibly accurate.

the thoughts that are lingering in my mind and body after both book and movie are this:
i am in love with a plain jane, and have found a renewed love of my own plainness.
my obsession with england grows as i think more of the countryside and its moors...can't wait for summer.
conversation is my deepest desire...i want to talk and talk and talk with those i love most.
tension is what i crave...i love doubt and faith, courage and faint hearts, strong and weak.
i love a good ghost story {when i'm not alone or in the dark}.
i am more determined to someday have a little orchard and spend a night here and there in candlelight.
strangely i am trying to figure out why this book left me loving things that are harsh and rough...i have yet
to fully digest these feelings.

some favorite quotes i jotted down:

will be thinking of jane for months to come. thank you, nadia.

how the weather brings me outside to sit with blossoms while also avoiding hungry little bees

i'll tell you that writing outside is pretty much as lovely as it gets.

i'll also tell you that i will be sad to see my wild dandelion lawn

get mowed over this weekend...seems the landlords don't appreciate "wild."

a wild atmosphere is just what i needed for my writing...not that i got much done.

but i did write. which is progress for this perfectionist-on-the-mend.

i also have been getting to know my tudor and stuart britain (in prep for oxford this summer)...

lots about gentry, nobleman, fights over scotland, but not over ireland;

and i'm just now getting into the good stuff: women, childbirth, life and death.

to top it all off, i get to listen to a wonderful british accent read the "faerie queen"

as i read along (thank goodness, because i get tripped up when i have to mentally

switch u's with v's and i's with j's...oi). thank. goodness. for. audio. books.

i must admit that taking breaks from the ol' intertube (aka: internet)

is a breath of fresh air this wonderful spring season.

i may or may not be back tomorrow...depends on the weather.

note to self: blossoms sure are pretty, but they attract huge-mongous bees looking to feed their queen

keeping myself entertained {updated}

while ceej has been away i've spent my evenings
turning pretty pages in the lamp light.
this weekend ceej returns...hip, hip hooray!

happy weekend. i'm going outside.

oh yes, and do check out a "behind-the-scenes"

blog post at le voyage creatif about our little macaron photo shoot.

giving and reading books

there have been many trips to my little neighborhood bookstore
and many packages arriving at my doorstep as i've been
gathering in such wonderful books to give away and
to keep for myself.

i'm quite proud of little nieces and nephews who have a love
for reading...far beyond their age-level. yes, i am a proud auntie indeed.

then there's my stack of books...that's not even the half of what
i'll be reading to prepare for my semester at oxford this summer.
i'm quite eager about reading every page and learning
all that i can about royal dynasties and influential poets.

what are you reading?

tess : "i am ready"

every time someone saw me with "tess" in my hands,
and my eyes deliberately soaking in every word, they gave
me some kind of warning, "be ready to read something happy afterwards"
or "oh, poor tess!...have you read such-and-such yet?...it's terrible."
i guess these warnings might have turned me away, but i rather
like a story of heartache and suffering...because it is so much part of us.

before la porte rouge offered this book as our first read
tess had sat patiently on my shelf, and i was completely ignorant of her...
each page was a surprise, a true unfolding of a life before my eyes.

i fell in love. how can you not when you read of her perfect lips
and love of melody? how can you not love a woman who indeed
was full of virtue? what strength and forbearance she possessed.

i loved dreaming about her hard labor on the farm as she fell
deeply, madly in love with a gentleman. i too cried when
angel left her and she protected his good name.
i cherished every moment she had of her last days
with him as they fled and hid in forests and a mansion.

i knew that as soon as she offered her body upon
that ancient altar she was done for. i wept.
tess, least despised of them all. most loved forever more.

often as i read i had my warm spiced milk,
thinking of tess and all the many women in this world
who suffer such a life this very day...the victims of
social injustices. it's international women's day...
and i will celebrate tess and those who struggle
to keep their heads high as they have been cast so low.

and now, onward. onward to jane.