desktop quote : doing

spring is certainly here...life in the past week has brought much change.
there were triumphs as i cleared my head and made bold decisions;
there were victories as sister #3 finished her half-ironman;
there were tears when we heard of tragedy that has left us all in shock...
all of this has made me think more deliberately and act more kindly
towards others and myself.

but most of all, i am getting rid of the "what if's" that seem to be
popping up in my head these past few days.
"what-if's" hold me back, and keep me afraid of living,
afraid of both the past and the future.

this morning i read a little paragraph from a book called
"the power of kindness", written by peiro ferrucci.
it's a go-to-book that i use constantly when i need
reminders of wisdom:

"to live in the future is to be in a place that
does not yet exist. the future can be seen as a positive,
but also a danger. it can weigh on us--be a time to which
we do not want to go. but we know we will get there anyway,
no matter how hard we put on the brakes. it can also be a time
full of things to do; just thinking about it can exhast us,
knowing we will never do them all. and this stress prevents
us from being fullin in the one moment in which we really could do
something: the present.

"luckily, in real life we can find the present again and again.
this is a simple recipe available to everybody: do what you are doing...
if i am doing what i am doing, without fantasies of approaching dangers,
without my mind displaced, i am centered. i am here one hundred percent.
if so, then in that moment i am afraid of nothing, and need nothing.
thus i find fullness."

hope you found comfort and motivation in these words as i did.

{right click on the top image for smaller desktop image; right click on the bottom image for a larger image}

In My Perfect World...

(photo by annabel mehran)

This post is more like a diary today. So many things on my mind. It will be long. I hope if you take the time to read it that it might just spark some questions of your own. I don't have all the answers. I don't think anyone does. We just do the best we can, and try to truly love everyone yes? I'd prefer you didn't comment here (but if you must, you must)...I hope this provokes you to blog your own "In My Perfect World" post.

1. There would be no "inflamatory" rhetoric...let me explain. People would not call women who get abortion murderers...because you have no idea what suffering that woman has gone through, or might have yet to go through. People would not make fun of each other for their beliefs--religious or non-religious...when it comes down to it, we're all human beings trying to do good deeds. People would not use words such as "liberal", "conservative", "socialist", etc to degrade each other...we should probably learn what all those terms mean anyway...you might find something you like. Do you follow me?

2. Environmentalism would be seen as the virtue it really is. We would realize that we truly are stewards of this earth...that the earth is alive...that it symbolizes so much...that consumerism is killing the earth and everything on it.

3. We would value true simplicity, and be more productive, rather than consumeristic. Health and happiness does not depend on how much we have? How many times do we have to hear it before we believe it? Oh, to live the simple life!

4. We would know our neighbors, and support them. We would take care of each other in times of need...bearing each other's burdens. How do we bear each other's burdens when we don't even know each other?

5. Everyone would have a garden, and a nice little house to live in. We don't need monster houses in urban sprawl areas. We just need small little houses, and food to grow.

6. We would welcome disagreement and discomfort in all its forms. Everyone would have a voice everywhere.

7. Lobbyists would disappear from politics and government. Will people like me ever have a voice?

8. We would all know who we really are, men and women, and that we could all live our dharma (life-path).

9. Crying would be encouraged. Anger and pain would be allowed. Silence would be revered.

10. Intuition would be valued more than intellect.

11. Emotions would be just as important as politics.

12. Stars would be more visible at night (no more light pollution).

13. Everyone would know what stage the moon was in on any given night (if you want to know, it's waning at the moment).

14. Our lives would be slower...we could go on casual walks, read books, and talk on the front porch.

15. There would be opposition..."perfect" does not mean without problems and trials. People would still disagree with me (but kindly, please), and people would want things differently than I would.

16. I could teach. I could write. I could sing. I could dance. I could laugh. I could cry.

17. We could all choose where we wanted to live.

18. I could disagree with you...with reverence.

19. Professors would listen to students, and listen to their hearts as well...and students would listen to their professors and their hearts as well.

20. We could all be part of a fellowship.

21. There would be lots of storms and change.

Your turn

Manifesto Monday

I'm starting a new little tradition for my blog: Manifesto Monday. Each Monday I will share with you something I believe in--much like the radio program This I Believe that airs on NPR. I will be casually following their guidelines as to how to write a "This I Believe" essay. However, most of my writings will be quite raw--so please forgive any chopiness. I would love for any of you to do the same on your own blogs.

I believe in the power of kind words. About four years ago I applied for a job as an assistant researcher for a well-renowned professor of philosophy at a university. I was a college drop-out at the time, and the only example of my writing I had was a paper written two years previous for an art history course. Not only was that paper not an example of my current writing and research skills, but I had recieved a "C" grade on the paper. Hardly what I had hoped to present to such an intellectual giant, and hopefully future employer. I anticipated our meeting for an interview with great anxiety. "He'll brush me aside quickly, and move on to the next applicant, " I thought. But, oh how badly I wanted that job. I was working full time at a wedding reception center to pay for my husband's schooling. I wanted more than anything to be on a college campus--doing anything remotely scholarly. The moment of the interview came. I handed the professor my "C"-worthy paper. He excused himself for a moment so that he could skim over the paper and the rest of my resume. Oh heart! It was indeed one of those moments that you wish would be over and done with as quickly as possible. Ten minutes later he returned, and sat down next to me at a large and empty conference table. The first words out of his mouth were, "You have a great command over language and words. I am very impressed." What?! Did I hear him right? My heart leaped up, and I wanted to shout for joy. He could have ended there, and I would have been happy indeed. He assigned me to a research team, and I was going to have my dream job. Unfortunately, the university would not allow a non-student to work on the project so I was let go. However, I have looked back to that interview and those kind words over and over again as I am now back in school trying to finish my degree. My writing has since been critiqued and edited--often quite harshly. But those words, "you have great command over language and words" keeps popping up in my mind, and I keep going, trying to find a way to write beautifully and honestly. The power of kind words is great indeed. This I believe.