2013's wild word : V O I C E

"give me one wild word to follow...."


those of you who have been following me for a while know that i don't make the typical resolutions
because you know, and i know all too well, i'll never ban sugar or carbs nor will i set up a list of goals
for an entire year that are bound to fall through leaving me feeling like a quitter--which i'm not...i'm simply flexible.

what has really worked for me over the past few years is to follow terry tempest williams and choose one "wild word" to guide me throughout the year. last year my word was "pages." this worked for me...i began to write and write and write both for school and for my personal life. so much has been put down on paper--which means the scary part is here:

this year i mean to take maya angelou's words to heart and lift the meaning of my words off of the page and deep into humanity. i've known for years that my voice has been broken due to fear and mistrust of myself. now, today, in 2013 i'm more than ready to speak up because it's all been pent up for so long. i'm ready to transition from good to something more far-reaching.

i'm especially hoping for time to raise my voice more here on the blog, and create opportunities for all of you to raise your voice as well. our voices will wake, and we will indeed move mountains.

here's to 2013 and the voice!

2012's wild word :

i usually don't make new year's resolutions as i feel that every day

presents an opportunity to set goals, to strive to do better.

so a couple of years ago i began my own new year's tradition

that would help guide me and my decisions as i navigated through the days & months ahead:

inspired by terry tempest williams, i ask the earth to

"give me one wild word to follow..."

last year the word that popped into both heart and mind was content.

i knew it was time to be content with just a handful of goals, things, people, travels, etc.

i found gratitude for what i already had and for what i was already doing,

and, for the most part, learned to say "no" to very attractive opportunities that were, nevertheless, not quite the opportunities that would have taken me to where i want to be.

this year the one wild word that has kept a solid place in heart and mind is pages.

it truly was the first word to pop into my head as i asked the earth to

give me one wild word to follow.

i did try to reason that word out of my head as i felt a bit of pressure from that word:

i felt that there's no way this year can ask me to fill pages with my own personal writing

as i will be much busier than last year...

but then the wild word gave me some clarification:

pages can indeed be blank pages i fill with my own simple words,

but it can also be the pages i read that contain more words that will inspire and inform.

pages from my piano and violin books as i continue to master such elegant and wise

instruments. pages that i write for professors. pages that are notes to those i love.

this wild word i want to follow will help me to focus

on writing down my thoughts, experiences, feelings as we travel to places near and far,

i will continue writing poetry;

it will remind me to read as many pages from great authors as i can,

i will play music from composers that have inspired my own writing.

this wild word, pages, will motivate me to write, to read, to make music, and to share my humanity.

what's your take on new year's resolutions? do you make them? what are they this year? 

would love to hear what has you inspired for the new year ahead.

2011: a year of contentment

2010: a year of slowing-down and increased self-reliance
.received the good news that i was accepted into grad school.
.enjoyed day-trips into san francisco with ceej.
.started to write more.
.fell in love with our container garden.
.learned to knit and found i could not stop.
.settled on a simple hair-cut so ceej could be my personal stylist.
.let go of the idea that i had to make my own clothes.
.spent my first summer of grad school in asheville, north carolina.
.found out the good news that we were moving to utah.
.made many a road trip to california's beautiful national parks.

2010 was good to us.

2011: a year of contentment:

i am very ready to take each day as it comes to me...
to find the deep magic that lies within the ordinary.
i am ready to embrace this stage in my life:
i am a woman in my small part of the world,
learning to write what my soul and this earth are trying to tell me,
willing to practice the piano and violin everyday...enduring mistakes and repetition,
i am eager for conversations with neighbors to change my point of view,
to give me a heart full of empathy.
i am ready to accept that this year can only offer 365 days, not a lifetime.
i am a novice, a wee babe, in this world
and i am committed to a slow pace that will win the race.
i find no need to seek out more, but to seek out less:
less busy, less travel, less buying, less doing.
i don't have to accomplish big things,
i am satisfied with little victories:
one page written, a small joyful roadtrip with ceej spent in a tent, a phone call to a friend.
i don't have to say profound things at this young age of 29...
i am happy to be a beginner. learning. trying. falling. repairing.
this year i will spend a summer studying at oxford...for me, this is big. about as big as it gets.
this year i will have a reunion with all six of my siblings.
this year i will read at the end of each day, and enjoy the hard work of life-time writers.
this year i will write and re-write and re-write and re-write.
this year i will sit on my porch and knit.
this year i will do what needs to be done,
spend time here and there with friends and family,
and i will find enjoyment in silence.
this year i will find that life is just as i want it to be:
honest, simple, solid, true,
and i will be content with whatever each day will bring.


if you could narrow your resolutions down to one word,
what would you hope for 2011?

manifesto monday: resolved

this morning i had a definite feeling that i was upon a new beginning. a new year. i wondered why i don't have this distinct feeling every morning with the new day. resolution number one: embrace the chance to start over anew every morning.

i am a true believer that weakness can be turned into strength. this morning brought new insight: perhaps that doesn't mean that the weakness changes necessarily, but maybe it means that i use it to my advantage. for example: i love to be a hermit. have tried to turn this into a strength by forcing myself into too many social situations unnecessarily. what if my proclivity to isolation is a strength? i've decided it's a strength that i should embrace as what i wish to do most is write. which requires much time in isolation without distraction. perfect. resolution number two: embrace my longing to be alone with a book and a pad of paper.

this year, 2010, i really mean to simplify. on every level. i could definitely say "no" more often, especially to expectations i put on myself. i could definitely do without half of my closet. i could certainly be more content with a slow and steady pace in my life.

i also intend to become more self-reliant this year. finally starting my container garden on the back patio of our apartment, already learned to knit {now i just need to learn how to pearl}, decided that i will no longer pay someone to cut my hair {i've hired ceej and i will supervise}, i will make my own bread more often, i'm going to start making clothes without patterns {yikes!}, my home will be decorated with art that we make ourselves, and in between i'll hopefully be writing my little heart out. now, if i could just find someone to pay me to do all of this.

i am heretofore resolved.

Poem of the Month

One of my New Year's resolutions is to memorize one poem each month. I've chosen a long one to start out with. It became a favorite in high school while in Ms. McAllister's English class. She was the first person who shared her passion of poetry with me. She could read those poems like no one else I've ever met. She had our undivided attention. If you'd like, take the time to read the poem that I'm memorizing this month below (note: It's most famous lines, I think, are the last 5-6 lines).

Ulysses by Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)

It little profits that an idle king,
By this still hearth, among these barren crags,
Matched with an aged wife, I mete and dole
Unequal laws unto a savage race,
That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.
I cannot rest from travel; I will drink
Life to the lees. All times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea. I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known,--cities of men,
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honored of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untraveled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains; but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

This is my son, mine own Telemachus,
To whom I leave the scepter and the isle--
Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfil
This labor, by slow prudence to make mild
A rugged people, and through soft degrees
Subdue them to the useful and the good.
Most blameless is he, centered in the sphere
Of common duties, decent not to fail
In offices of tenderness, and pay
Meet adoration to my household gods,
When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.
There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:
There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toiled, and wrought, and thought with me--
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads--you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honor and his toil.
Death closes all; but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming ment that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;
The long day wanes; the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; form my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down;
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are:
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Resolved.

I know my resolutions are a few days late, but I wanted to really ponder on my resolutions this year...to go beyond my usual "stop eating junk" and "more yoga" etc. So here it goes...

I hereby resolve to:

1. Walk slower and bow more often.

2. Commit one poem to memory each month.

3. Lengthen each inhale and each exhale.

4. Give thanks for the fruits of the earth.

5. Write one hand-written note to someone I love each week.

6. Be slow to offense and quick to forgive.

7. Arise each morning with awe and wonder.

8. Take a walk outside everyday to feel the air.

9. Photograph at least one thing each day.

10. Buy only things that are needed, and remember: "Make do, or do without"

11. Learn how to knit.

12. Find more ways to say "I Love You" to Ceej

13. Namaste for every living being.

I chose thirteen as my number this year--for its feminine symbolism. And I've also added another element to my resolutions this year: a "wild" word, the idea adopted from Terry Tempest Williams. My wild word for 2009 is "Speak."

Photo by nicholas lorden.