oxford update from my iphone

i can't believe week four is almost over. it has flown by, and yet there is still so much to do.
my laptop won't read my sd card, and so i can't upload photos yet.
so in the mean time i thought i'd just put up some iphone/instagram photos.
here's what i've been up to for the past three weeks:

:: tea. clotted cream. scones ::

:: spending most of my day-time hours in the bodleian libray ::

:: making a book of sonnets at printing class ::

:: organizing and presenting at a conference...i talked about the First Folio and the Academic Girl Gene ::

:: sneaking off to blenheim palace to read in the grass by the lake ::

:: going to as many music events at churches here in oxford as possible ::

:: writing letters home to ceej ::

:: skyping with ceej at least twice a day ::

:: desperately missing ceej ::

:: more tea. clotted cream. scones ::

:: shakespeare in the theater in both stratford and london ::

:: turning in papers, and then researching the next one ::

:: going for walks through these old colleges to let my mind process all the research ::

:: reading out loud so I can hear the First Folio ::

:: eating at High Table dinners and worrying about which fork to use ::

:: gazing out my window at night, looking at the gothic "hogwarts" steeple all lit up ::

:: enjoying my time with my tutor who is a shakespeare super-star ::

:: running every morning near the meadow ::


life is good.

and so it begins...

anywhere you stand in this city there is an incredible view that requires pinching yourself.
it's unbelievably beautiful, and unbelievably old and preserved. history. tradition.
point your camera almost anywhere and you end up with a moody, yet charming image.
academic pedigree meets the cotswolds.

we've had our first week of introductions and classes.
we know what's expected of us: dive deep into the pages of the bodleian library. ask questions that you never knew could be asked. chase the rabbit down the rabbit hole (we are in alice's wonderland after all).  we've been given permission to explore what we've always wanted to explore--because we're at an institution that is almost 800 years old, and we study at a library that is almost 400 years old and receives a thousand books a day to add to its stacks. pick a book. any book. they've got it.

happily overwhelmed.


{p.s. the last two photos are the view i have out my window. just wait until i show you a picture of that tower lit up at night...hogwarts anyone?}

in oxford : pondering "the ephemeral world of sound and echo" via Shakespeare's First Folio

hello, dear readers.

feels like i was here just yesterday. the streets are the same. the library is definitely the same.
the food in the dining hall is the same. the grass in the quad is the same. this place has been
the same for hundreds of years. sort of love that about this town. really love it.

there are a couple of new coffee houses with an eye towards fresh and local which is brilliant.
and i, already feeling confident about navigating the library, have more time to explore
the town's gems and the surrounding area. getting excited about riding bikes to blenheim palace
tomorrow, and visiting the botanic gardens often.

the best news: i get to take a weekly printing class at the bodleian library learning how shakespeare's first folio was printed, and we will create a printing project of our own. and my professor is kind of a big deal. and i could talk with my professor all day about nerd-ilicious details like margins, stage directions, the visibility of text, the sound of theater, and reading as performance.

dreamy indeed.


...now, if only ceej were here. paradise indeed.



[p.s. follow me on instagram to see what i'm up to throughout the day]

hawaii : the delicious contrast that is reading "heart of darkness" in paradise

i must admit that i get immense pleasure out of reading a dark and fraught text...
and heart of darkness has to be one of the richest novellas out there.
it is blood-pulsing fascinating to read a book in which the wilderness is something
that will swallow up your soul, and leave you as a mere whisper of a voice;
it is troublesome to read a text full of racist sentiments and psychological threats;
it is a text that will never have answers.
my favorite.

this short text kept me "busy" on the beach for a good four days.
love beach reading.

how to say goodbye to vermont : lake swimming

classes ended today...and i was especially sad to see my milton class come to an end {more on that later}.
what a beautifully difficult summer i've had. whoo. big sigh. can't believe tomorrow i head home.

so.very.excited.

this afternoon a few of us headed to some mountain water to refresh our minds and bodies
in the cool water and sleep and snooze in the sun. these past few weeks have been a whirlwind,
and it's rather jarring for it to come to a complete halt. i think my breath is still trying to catch up.

i'm off to find some lovelies to play the guitar and sing with on one of our porches.
should be a wonderfully low-key evening.

see you in a couple of days...back in my mountains.

four more days here in beautiful vermont

these are the last days. i've got milton on the brain: free will, choice, obedience,
falling, standing, eating, timing, standing and waiting, hand in hand, paradise,
garden, toil, labor, ambition, vanity, contrition, adoration, mercy.
milton was a genius. every line packed with so much to interpret. love.


soon all my papers will be handed in, and monday and tuesday will leave
me merely to enjoy lively discussions in class...


then wednesday it's home. home to ceej. home to the west. home to my mountains.
i'm listening to ray lamontagne preparing for the road trips ahead
at the end of the summer and into the fall. i can hardly wait.


can't wait to follow my instinct--despite how frightening instinct can be.
willing to take as many steps as i can, even if sometimes they're in the wrong direction.
perfect is boring. instinct is brave.

summer 2013 : the great decision

i'm only half-way through my studies here in vermont for the summer,
and already i've had to put in my preference for next year's studies...
next year i graduate. what?! i've always wanted to graduate at oxford,
but lately my homesickness has made me doubt my ability to get
through another summer, six weeks, entirely without ceej. i began to
consider another campus, much closer to home, in santa fe. beautiful, tempting santa fe.

i tried to tap into my dreams, into that depth in my heart, and ask myself what would i really want
for my last summer of grad school--my last summer to devote to english verse and prose?
oxford. shakespeare. the bodleian. that's what i want.

and as for my homesickness, i've decided to kidnap ceej and take him with me...
not quite sure how that's going to work out, but somehow i will find a way to make
our separation much less than six weeks.

sort of already dreaming and swooning about being back in oxford. this is good. very good.


{p.s. ceej comes to see me here in vermont tomorrow. this is good. very good.}

you can find me in the library, by my window, or on the grass...or on instagram

phew! i've made it through the initial crisis: feeling overwhelmed and like my brain has officially been left behind in the last decade or two...maybe i never actually matured intellectually past the age of fourteen?!
i've been researching--reading the same seven dense pages over and over again: reading it silently in the library, reading it aloud in my room next to the window, writing down key words so that i can feel them in my body...and i think i'm finally making some awe-some connections between the literary criticism and the literature itself. i think i can love mr. milton again. i almost threw him out the window.

today, my ultimate savior: the o.e.d. (oxford english dictionary).
there's nothing that will get my brain going as quickly as looking up every single word in a poem
to find out every possible meaning and application possible within a syllable or two.
"in the beginning was the word." i'm pretty sure this passage was talking about the o.e.d.
bless the literature gods!

so, in case you haven't noticed, it's been difficult for me to find time to post here on the blog
due to my scholarly abduction. but i do try to update my instagram feed at least a couple times a day.
so come see me there. in the meantime i'll try to get some more paris photos up this weekend,
and try to stop by now and then to give you the report of my time here at school in vermont.

happy weekend!
{we'll be taking a little excursion to stowe, and hopefully stopping by to see good ol' ben&jerry}

this is vermont : how i realized yet another dream | "o me, o life!"

every friday night when i was in high school i would return home late after hanging out with friends,
and i would pop in my favorite movie into the vcr: dead poets' society.
i didn't always stay awake for the entire movie, but there was a comfort in falling asleep to my dreams.
all my teenage heart wanted was to go to a school in beautiful new england
where professors would let poetry drip off their tongues, and ask us to contribute a verse.

so here i am. in new england. listening to professors talk about words, about narrative, about poetry.
yes, dreams come true indeed...

however, it seems that dreams always come with a price.
my cost: homesickness for ceej. i find myself here in a dream, without ceej by my side to share it.
i find that the stress of actually performing academically is difficult for this heart
when i don't have arms to hold me when i doubt my abilities to articulate discoveries and epiphanies
on paper for experts.

dreams are funny that way, yes? it seems they come in piecemeal...
one day i might end up at school with ceej by my side.
but until then i will attempt to get through the loneliness, the stress, and the work
while enjoying the beauties and this dream a bit on my own.

it's beautiful. it's what this 17-year-old girl thought would never happen.
i remind myself that somehow dreams sneak up on you
after years of hoping and working.

hope you had a lovely weekend.
i spent mine swimming in a mountain lake,
and dancing in the barn with friends late into the night...
now the academic storm begins.