we've been enjoying the little winter that is still clinging on in the mountains...

last week ceej, my brother, and i took my sister-in-law up to the mountains for her

first backcountry skiing experience. she caught on quickly and was a champ.

these days we haven't seen much snow...we're getting anxious about this drought.

not only do we need snow to ski on, but we'll need water to drink throughout the coming year.

this also explains my frustration with local congressmen trying to sell watershed land

to private corporations for development.  it's federal land now--which means for all of you

living in the states it's your land too. you could even give your own congressman a heads-up

with a nice little email to help us here in utah battle to keep our watershed pure...

sorry for that little rampage. i just can't help myself. you know how i love my mountains.

anyway, i am looking forward to this weekend. we have a little theme party planned,

and i can hardly wait for ceej to transform into samwise and i get to wear my elven garb,

and brush up on my elvish. totally geeking out.

hope you have lovely plans for the weekend. see you next week!

our red rock wilderness {part two}: i'm not sure what i want to say...and maybe this is my life's struggle

"our kinship with Earth must be maintained;
otherwise, we will find ourselves trapped
in the center of our own
paved-over souls
with no way out."

-terry tempest williams

have you ever seen red rock glow with the thickness of sunset?
or have you ever witnessed snow in the desert?
i've never know such a varied landscape.

i'll tell you why i love the desert:
because it's honest.
it hides nothing. it bears all.
this can be quite frightening at times. terrible.
but the most wonder-full thing i've ever experienced.
what would it be like to reveal everything to ourselves about ourselves?
do we even know what lies deep within us?
in the desert, i let my guard down, and i too can be honest. bear all.
and best of all, i can say it all in the desert without any words.
it's magic. truly. magic of the best kind.

this week is a big week for wilderness.
an activist is on trial for bidding on wilderness lands to
save them from oil/coal/choose-your-poison corporations.
i admire his courage. i admire those who showed up for protests.
i stayed away from it all. feeling desperately that what i wanted
to say is un-sayable. how can you protest in silence?
how do you show someone your soul?
i'm not a shouter. i'm not a speaker. i'm not a protester.
but i am human, and i feel deeply.
these lands truly are our lands, and i do indeed feel that in my heart.

today i am learning to be honest in my silence...which is how i say it all.

if you're ever in utah we'll go together to experience the most stark honesty you've ever witnessed.

our red rock wilderness {part one} : another reason we love living here

"something will have gone out of us as a people if we ever let the
remaining wilderness be destroyed...we simply need that wild country
available to us, even if we never do more than
drive to its edge and look in."

-wallace stegner

have you ever looked in to the mysteries and grand beauty
of the red rock desert?
it changes you. it slows your breath, and opens your heart and mind...
but it closes your mouth.
all you want to do is listen and watch to find out just how much this
seemingly empty place is moving and growing...thousands and thousands
of years of constant, but steady, change.

our red-rock wilderness pulls at my heart-strings.
it is a place that is incredibly stormy:
at one moment the sun shines and the dirt is cracked,
and before you know it a thunderhead has burst
and flash floods can be a danger that i have, luckily, never experienced.

it is stormy in another way:
there are tensions as to whether it should be preserved
as the great wilderness that it is,
or if it should be interrupted for our energy consumption,
or opened to development that, simply, there is not enough
water in this desert to support.

we fight to keep this wilderness...
because when it's gone, our children will miss it.
i know nature is much more powerful than us,
and could possibly heal after hundreds or thousands of years...
but i desperately want my children to know this wild place
as i have known it. and i desperately wish i knew this wild place as
it was for my grandpa as he traveled its canyons and plateaus so many decades ago.

this place will heal you.
it will whisper the most simple, but awe-inspiring secrets to your heart.

this is why we love living here. the wilderness is at our fingertips.

{by the way, did you know that much of this red rock wilderness is yours? if you live in the US, and pay your taxes, then you have a right to say what happens to this land...pretty rad, huh?}

here's to a hopeful earth day

we have much to hope for.
we have much to do...and much not to do.
i hope we will take earth day seriously,
and resolve to care more deeply,
to act more often.

have you been watching the wondrous gathering of
15,000+ people in cochabamba, bolivia this week?
it's really inspiring.
so many good people coming together to motivate the rest of us...
let's not let them down.

"our kinship with Earth must be maintained; otherwise,
we will find ourselves trapped in the center of our own paved-over souls
with no way out."
-terry tempest williams, finding beauty in a broken world, page 75

"we can no longer say, 'let nature take care of itself.' our press on the planet is
heavy and relentless. a species in peril will most likely survive now only
if we allow it to, if our imaginations can enter into the soul of
the animal and we pull back on our own needs and desires to accommodate theirs.
what other species now require of us is our attention. otherwise,
we are entering a narrative of disappearing intelligences."
-terry tempest williams, finding beauty in a broken world, page 203

"this is what is wrong with us, we are bleeding at the roots."
-d.h. lawrence

i truly believe that THE most important and effective way we can
conserve the beauty of the earth is to put aside our own desires:
to buy less.
don't give in to smart and pretty advertising.
don't give up this earth for something you will throw out next year
when the newest fashion comes about.
make things yourself.
buy local and handmade if you have to buy at all.
bike. bike. bike.
get outside.
get informed.

write corporations/businesses/representative, and tell them

that you support real change {no "green"-washing},

tell them that you will no longer buy their products

if they are not sustainable.

they will listen...

because there is more of us than them.

take it one step at a time.
day by day
we will not only preserve this earth
but we will preserve our souls.

i am slowly, but surely, killing my car...driving only when it rains...
but even then, i am riding more in the rain too...
it's not so bad...it's quite refreshing.

what do you pledge to change for the earth today?

if i asked you to sign a petition, join a voting block, write a letter, or make a phone call...would you do it?

all of us have causes. all of us have concerns. some dedicate their lives to helping refugees and the homeless. others dedicate their lives and efforts to education and health. can you guess what my cause is? it's the land. it's wilderness. it's mother earth. she is my passion. she is my heart. she can make me laugh. she can make me sigh for days at a time. she can teach me many mysteries. she is not mine. she is her own. if we harm her too much, she will return with a vengeance.

a real-life story. happened last night. ceej and i happily found out that we could view ken burn's documentary on america's national parks via the world wide web (since we are sans tv). the first episode. john muir. we need another john muir to sing the song of the beauty and the importance of wilderness. we are in desperate need of an elegant, passionate, knowledgeable spokesperson for wilderness. after we watched that first episode i was oh so grateful for people willing to fight for the land...which in the end has saved us all. i also cried. because i have not done enough. this is my love, but i have neglected it. resolved to return to my efforts like never before.

this morning full of anxiety. watching a congressional hearing concerning "america's red rock wilderness act." this wonderful act, if passed, would protect 9 million acres of beautiful and important land as "wilderness." i listen to utah senators and other utah elected officials...words are flying out of my mouth: "liar," "manipulative," and "corrupt." my knees are bouncing with anxiety. then, an angel. a representative from another state talks about how much utahns, not elected officials, support this wilderness bill. he tells the truth. he says what the people of utah have said. we want wilderness protected. i have a moment of hope. but, senator hatch and senator bennett then give false information, and twist things to fit their wallets. they talk about how land could help fund education if we don't protect it...since when do they care about education? when the state had a $1billion surplus, the people of utah wanted that money to go to education...well, our reps ignored the people, as usual, and put the money elsewhere--in their pockets and their friends' pockets. they yell and raise their voices to try to prove they are right. breaks. my. heart.

anyway, yes, i'm venting. not very "professional." but, i write all of this because i want to know if my utah friends would take a few moments to call their representatives to tell them they support bill HR 1925 (america's red rock wilderness act). in saying that, know that i will support you and your causes. i know we cannot take on every cause there is. each of us has our passion. i will do what i can to help you. you help me. a community of friends, yes?

i tried to keep this short. wanted to rant more, but realize no one really cares for ranting. thanks for indulging my anxious heart.

photo by cj. harris wash...in utah. 2008.

when i finish her book i'll stop quoting her...at least for a bit. but for now i can't get enough...

she uses an analogy that i thought i had heard too much. but i like it. see if you recognize the analogy...

"we should always, especially when it is difficult, exercise our freedom of speech and assembly, and i mean the word exercise. Rights are like muscles: they atrophy and aren't there when you need them if you don't use them. The First Amendment is in trouble not just because of U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft and the USA Patriot Act, but because of a pall of self-censorship--some have spoken up with great courage, but many have been silenced not only by the acts of the authorities but by the prison of their own fear. Still, if people could stand up to Pinochet, if the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo could march in Buenos Aires during the time of the generals, if people could speak up in Prague in the 1980s, we can here, far more than we do. An atmosphere of repression exists speicifically because people don't speak up against it. When you speak up, you are not repressed--you might be supressed or punished, but you have freed yourself. Too, a tyranny can rise more easily by shutting up a thousand people than a million, and that's a reason to speak out." -rebecca solnit

rights are like exercise? sound familiar? it should. i hope we all resolve to use our rights daily.

photo by karin nussbaumer

poor nevada...poor west

photo by me. january 2009. I-80.

i am learning so much from Solnit's book of compiled essays. i wanted to tell you what she tells us about mining because i want you to know what it does to the earth and to the people who live near it. hope you find this information useful, and i hope it moves you to action.

~ by 1857, California gold miners had extracted 24.3 million ounces of [gold], but they left behind more than ten times as much mercury, along with devastated forests, slopes, and streams. Today, there's a new gold rush underway on the other side of the Sierra Nevada, and it too is racking up huge bills for the public, bills that will be coming due for centuries to come, bills that we will pay in taxes for restoration, and bills that can never be paid, for pure water, cultural survival, wildlife, and wilderness. (page 115)

~ the California Gold Rush wasn't an anomaly; it was the beginning of modern large-scale gold mining, which is still going on. In America's new gold boom in Nevada, the dimensions are staggering...Nowadays, Nevada produces nearly 10 percent of the world's gold and three-quarters of the nation's...The first big new open-pit mines came in 1965, but it was the rise of gold prices in the 1980s...and the invention of cyanide heap-leaching that made mining such low-grade ore profitable. (page 119-120)

~Gold is now mined on a scale none of those men in the sepia-tone photographs could have imagined, from ore far more low-grade than they could have considered worthwhile. The Mary Harrison mine, which opened in 1853 in Coulterville, near Yosemite, yielded about one-third to one-half an ounce of gold per ton. In 1997, the Toronto-based Barrick Corporation's Betze/Post mine, in the center of the Carlin Trend, mined 159 million tons of rock and earth to produce 1.6 million ounces of gold--about a hundredth of an ounce per ton..."invisible gold" leads to mines that can be seen from space. [talk about extortion!!!] (page 120)


photo by tom schweich

~One way to describe modern gold mines is to say that they are displacing earth and water on a gargantuan scale and producing and dispersing toxins in smaller quantities, with gold a proportionally minute by-product of this disruption...in Nevada water is being both contaminated and used up...A deficit of 5 million acre-feet is being created in the Humbolt Basin, 1.6 trillion gallons, the equivalent of twenty-five years of the river's annual flow. (page 121)

after reading her essays on mining in Nevada, i was oh so sad for Nevada. not only is their land and their health being destroyed by mining companies (many who are foreign companies), but they have had to put up with decades of nuclear bomb testing. it is oh so frustrating to me that people think a desert is a wasteland; that there is nothing worth saving there. they are dead wrong. it is a fragile landscape that has intensely beautiful spaces of mountain ranges and sagebrush fields.

it also made me very glad i don't live in the Salt Lake Valley development known as "Daybreak." I've always been suspicious of how that land has been contaminated by the mine that has developed the land. i've also always despised the eyesore of that huge mine. it's ugly. it makes me ill.

and another thing, utah is a place, too, where people think they can dump nuclear waste...and we even named the sports arena after a nuclear waste company: "energy solutions arena." that makes me very ill.

i hope you learned a little something. i hope you want to buy and read Solnit's book. it's got so much varied information about so many important issues. you'll love it. you'll feel more motivated to take action. to make this earth better.