this is vermont : how i realized yet another dream | "o me, o life!"
7.02.2012
every friday night when i was in high school i would return home late after hanging out with friends,
and i would pop in my favorite movie into the vcr: dead poets' society.
i didn't always stay awake for the entire movie, but there was a comfort in falling asleep to my dreams.
all my teenage heart wanted was to go to a school in beautiful new england
where professors would let poetry drip off their tongues, and ask us to contribute a verse.
so here i am. in new england. listening to professors talk about words, about narrative, about poetry.
yes, dreams come true indeed...
however, it seems that dreams always come with a price.
my cost: homesickness for ceej. i find myself here in a dream, without ceej by my side to share it.
i find that the stress of actually performing academically is difficult for this heart
when i don't have arms to hold me when i doubt my abilities to articulate discoveries and epiphanies
on paper for experts.
dreams are funny that way, yes? it seems they come in piecemeal...
one day i might end up at school with ceej by my side.
but until then i will attempt to get through the loneliness, the stress, and the work
while enjoying the beauties and this dream a bit on my own.
it's beautiful. it's what this 17-year-old girl thought would never happen.
i remind myself that somehow dreams sneak up on you
after years of hoping and working.
hope you had a lovely weekend.
i spent mine swimming in a mountain lake,
and dancing in the barn with friends late into the night...
now the academic storm begins.
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9 comments:
Dreams realised are truly sacred gifts... even more so when we consciously greet them and acknowledge their blessings. Cliche would be to say ... well done you - truth would be to state ... You've had this coming all along. What a powerful manifestor you are. Perhaps when Ceej reads this he'll hop a plane & make another dream come true .. til then ... Enjoy, savour and breathe deeply :-)
Hope you're inspired to let out a few "barbaric yawps" while you're there ;) Lovely. Lovely.
I quote Dead Poets Society to my students widely and often. Something about that zest that Robin Williams captures so well! Ah. I made need to pull out the old VHS.
So glad you're living Vermont. Gorgeous photos, as always.
These images are beautiful and your words inspiring, especially since I share your dream. Whenever I hear someone mention New England my skin jumps a little, as though it were the name of a magical place.
Best of luck to you in your studies and dreaming!
Beautiful Vermont! Thank you for sharing!
ah yes. i do understand what you mean. dreams come at a price, indeed, sometimes.
my brand new husband is off living his - training for London 2012 in Europe - but I had to stay here in CA for my own dreams. Still, I suppose living out these dreams makes us better people...better spouses...right?
Thinking of you.
And always so touched by your words.
Wow, Vermont is beautiful :)
I've just read this post and I'm moved. It was exactly what happened to me. I remember the first time I saw DPS, I was 14, and I fell in love with Neil, Todd.. and the colors of Vermont. I was living in the Canary Islands then; beaches, tropical weather, bananas and sun, just the opposite to Vermont. But I had a dream too, and 20 years later I began to live in Boston and I do my PhD in a university that makes me think everyday that I'm a dead poet too. Yes, you are right: dreams come true.
tvmnpic (Instagram)
I'm from California, but actually go to UVM! I moved to Burlington, Vermont three years ago. Isn't Vermont just the greatest? Your describing everything I felt when I first moved to Vermont. Thank you so much for sharing this!
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