every friday night when i was in high school i would return home late after hanging out with friends,
and i would pop in my favorite movie into the vcr: dead poets' society.
i didn't always stay awake for the entire movie, but there was a comfort in falling asleep to my dreams.
all my teenage heart wanted was to go to a school in beautiful new england
where professors would let poetry drip off their tongues, and ask us to contribute a verse.
so here i am. in new england. listening to professors talk about words, about narrative, about poetry.
yes, dreams come true indeed...
however, it seems that dreams always come with a price.
my cost: homesickness for ceej. i find myself here in a dream, without ceej by my side to share it.
i find that the stress of actually performing academically is difficult for this heart
when i don't have arms to hold me when i doubt my abilities to articulate discoveries and epiphanies
on paper for experts.
dreams are funny that way, yes? it seems they come in piecemeal...
one day i might end up at school with ceej by my side.
but until then i will attempt to get through the loneliness, the stress, and the work
while enjoying the beauties and this dream a bit on my own.
it's beautiful. it's what this 17-year-old girl thought would never happen.
i remind myself that somehow dreams sneak up on you
after years of hoping and working.
hope you had a lovely weekend.
i spent mine swimming in a mountain lake,
and dancing in the barn with friends late into the night...
now the academic storm begins.