falling asleep in the tree tops

ceej is flying somewhere over the pacific for a business trip,

and i have stayed near our mountains.

last night was my first night alone in bed...

i pulled the covers back, laid down on my side,

pulled my pillow under my head,

and grabbed cj's pillow and tucked it close against my back

trying to convince my body that i was not completely alone.

i stretched my arm and barely reached the lamp to switch it off.

darkness was not complete.

i could still see the tops of the apple trees out my windows,

black branches scratching the purple night sky.

i slipped my earphones onto my head and listened

to a song about a rose blooming in winter...

i simultaneously ached for ceej

while knowing that this moment alone was spell-binding.

i truly felt as if i was falling asleep in the tree tops

in the mid-winter...

what awe filled my entire being...

thoughts were both racing through my head and settling in slowly.

i like falling asleep in the tree tops.

apple hill : if this day was every day

this weekend ceej and i made our way up to apple hill...
drawn by the thought of apple cider donuts and cool fall weather.
there was no disappointment to be found anywhere in our hearts.
we went straight for the donuts...one dozen to last us through the next few days...
their warm smell lingered in our car throughout the rest of the day.
oh my. just thinking of it made me take a deep breath hoping to smell that glorious smell.
we also made a stop for apple cider, pears, and other goodies.
i especially love looking down the rows and rows of apple trees in all the orchards.
i could set up a picnic for the entire day and just gaze and eat to my heart's content.
we also stopped by a very "sincere" pumpkin patch...almost sincere enough for a visit from
the great pumpkin.
i don't think we can avoid another trip this month.
it will just have to happen.



{p.s. i took lots of black&white photos...can't wait to see them!}

manifesto monday: repitition

have i told you how very grateful i am for all of you and your kindness? well, i am grateful beyond words. how nice is it to know that the world is filled with nice people? thank you!

this weekend was perfect. i was able to check everything off of my little list: writing, talking with farmers, sewing, sharing tea with good friends, reading, and picking ceej up from the airport!! this last thing has lifted my spirits high indeed. we've had a peaceful and relaxing two days together, catching up on everything that has happened in the space between.

but, what i wish to write about today is practice. i practiced my bach on the piano this weekend, and found how much i love the repition that happens in practicing. i play the same song over and over again. i play the same line again and again. sometimes i even have to play a small two-note series twenty times over before it begins to feel familiar, and my confidence gains. as i was deep into my practicing i realized, yes, a life lesson. i realized that as we pursue our dreams and goals we must repeat the same steps over and over again...often meeting with defeat or shortcomings. often when i run up against a wall multiple times i easily give up and tell myself it shouldn't be so hard...so instead of sticking with it, i change my goal to an easier fit. oh, what an unwise thing it is to chase the easy way!

so, now, with my new insight i am more dedicated to pursuing my goals no matter how many times i fail and have to repeat the same steps over and over again. it is good exercise for the heart and soul indeed. this i believe.

great spirits now on earth are sojourning

when the sun sweeps the muddy earth
and fallen leaves,
it refelcts branches bearing buds...

walking mindful of magic and underlying secrets,
talking to the self about small things
that are great things.

falling in and out of line,
gazing between stems of growth.

to move like a winged creature
catching the air still and gentle.
catching the sun's great warmth.

peeking around corners hoping to
find hearts beating
and eyes open.

turning to close the eyes
and see for the first time
when light brushes gold upon your back.

no difference and no divides
between the worlds
of earth and sky.

living in one day
a thousand years or more.

connected and interconnected.
still moving.

oh, heart
sings songs that no one hears

tomorrow, when you come back

happy that it is monday.
it is a good, slow, and easy day.
my kitchen needs attention after a sunday
dinner of curry, naan, and mamosa.
been reading lots of poetry instead.
that's how it should be, don't you think so?

tomorrow, come back for a visit
for i will have photographs to share
of a beautiful orchard
where i walked all alone in the morning light.

on january...

it seems that january is the most unpopular month of them all.
but, i quite like it.
it does indeed feel like spring already,
especially with the sun shining through the windows
and the grass greening already.
where did january go?
where did winter go?
i am sad that january is coming to a close.
sad to see the night shorten its stay each day.
sad to see the blues and silvers of winter end.
it was a heavenly month wasn't it?

{my walk in the orchard this morning was perfect. more photos next week.}

birthday report {part two}

i'm pretty sure i've been in heaven this week...
well, at least i've been in eden.

the weather and the sights have been some of my favorites:
orchards, clouds, changing leaves...you know my favorites.

we picked up a few pears from boa vista orchards.
absolutely delicious.

it's fun to have ceej around snapping photos left and right...
it makes you feel like you're someone very important indeed.

i had lots of phone calls from family and friends.
you all made the day so complete.
thanks for taking time to give lil' ol' me a ring!

here i am talking with my 7-year-old nephew, jeremiah.
of course we talked about harry potter.
and the secret of nimh.
unfortunately, he had to go practice the piano so our
conversation was cut short.

i have so so so many photos.
we'll see if i can show you all of them...

{photos by ceej and me. ocotober 2009}

birthday report {part one}

of course we spent the afternoon at apple hill.
it's the most fall-feeling place here in california.
and i wanted my birthday to feel like my birthday.
first stop: apple cider doughnuts at rainbow orchards.

ceej picking out the best pumpkin.
we didn't buy one this time because
we're waiting for halloween to be a bit closer...
we don't want our jack-o-lanterns to rot too much
before the big night!

most of the orchards only open to the public for the fall months,
but boa vista is open all year round
selling the best apple cider you've ever had.

it was the perfect birthday.
we took so many photos.
so get ready for them!

wish you could have all joined our little party...
maybe next year.

when walking through trees that harvest sweet fruit...

a small thing like an apple
can bring so much joy,
so much gratitude.

taking time to walk the orchards,
where farmers have put in long, hard hours
with their trees that literally give them life.

i thought i should have danced a bit more while
i was among these trees.

but i certainly did laugh,
and i was happy to be in such a lovely place.

take a walk today.
notice all the trees and fruit that sustain you.
oh, we have so much
and need nothing more,
in fact we might just give something away today.

photos by cj and me.