determined to stay on this road...because i have seen the end of it, and it is magnificent

i've been watching my thoughts, considering all of your kind words,

listening to this, this, this, and this....

all of this has brought me to a place of determination. a place of acceptance that

the road ahead will be challenging and will test my soul because, let's face it,

i am facing my biggest fears. what are my fears? 

i'm afraid that my head may actually be empty and void of any intellect;

i'm afraid of being misunderstood;

i'm afraid of not being able to contribute to essential life conversations;

i'm afraid of missing beauty that is perhaps hidden from me.

somehow school enables me to face all of these fears.

perhaps this is why i love it so much: it takes my entire being--head, heart, soul.

in the end i find i have nothing to fear. 

there is indeed a brain inside this skull, and a heart too.

i understand more than i think i do, and others delight in hearing my point of view.

i contribute my honest heart.

and i always find beauty beyond what i could have ever imagined.

i'm on this academic road...it's a long and ambitious road.

i feel like closing my eyes tight every time i walk out the door

and enter a classroom filled with "experts." at times all i can do is hold tight:

my books are never far from me. my calendar is filled with deadlines and goals.

i reach out to more books than required to help me on this journey.

i remind myself that this experience is for me, and no one else.

i only have to prove myself to myself. write what i want to write.

and, yes, i have seen the end of this road.

i can imagine it as i drive away from campus...

the end of this road is filled with joyous tears and the sensation

that i can continue on as many roads as i desire.

because i am determined. and that's enough.

{photos from our walk in derbyshire, england this summer}

europe on the brain : a summer eve's walk in derbyshire {part one}

it feels like everyone (well, maybe just two or three people) i know is

either in europe at the moment, or has just returned from visiting.

ceej has been hopping around from germany to switzerland to norway, and now back to germany.

this lovely lady is creating beautiful things in her home near oslo,

and another good friend made a spontaneous decision to visit london for thanksgiving.

i'm feeling like europe is in my near future--at least i feel i'm going to try my best to get there

within the next few months. switzerland, germany, and norway sound lovely right now.

i think europe in the winter would be absolutely breathtaking.

these photos are from our visit to derbyshire this past summer.

what a lovely bit of earth this place is. 

i could see how the land has inspired such wonderful literature.

it is a place that demands you walk in it. every day.

ceej returns home on sunday, and i can hardly wait to 

share in all this holiday cheer that's going round with him.

are you feeling any wanderlust lately? what land is pulling on your heart strings?

have a happy, dreamy weekend!

a walk in the english countryside

i re-discovered these photos that ceej took while we were

in derbyshire this last summer with my family.

after spending all day exploring manors & castles

we went for a little walk through the pastures to find

an ancient stone circle...what a lovely time we had there.

my sweet mom fell in love with derbyshire

as we spent a few days there in a cozy

little bed & breakfast on top of a hill that

overlooked the entire valley.

today is my mom's birthday...so i'm wishing her

lots of sweet memories of our time in derbyshire.

{to see more photos of our trip in england click here}

derbyshire {part two} : our visit to jane eyre's "thornfield"

our wonderful b&b host recommended we visit haddon hall.

i knew this manor had been used in the bbc's version of jane eyre,

but once i started walking around i had a serious suspicion that

this was also "thornfield" in the most recent jane eyre film.

oh. my. heart. but i couldn't verify it {since i was mistrusting google at the moment}.

what i did know is that i loved haddon hall so much more than chatsworth.

it's so much older {one wall dating back to the 11th century!}

and has more of a magical and mysterious feel. i can totally see

why haddon hall would be a perfect candidate for "thornfield."

a few days later when we were on our flight home, lucky for me,

one of my movie choices was jane eyre!

so my mom, my sister, and i all watched jane eyre and were

having oh so much fun pointing out all of the very places we had been:

in the chapel where the marriage is interrupted, in that large room with beautiful green window panes,

in the kitchen where the servants are busy preparing for unexpected guests,

looking over the countryside where a horse got spooked, and jane desperately runs away,

the large dining hall with beautiful wood panelling, the gardens {the gardens!}, 

the little "house" where rochester finds refuge after the fire, and on and on and on.

so glad we made it here.

watch this little featurette below and see if you can see the similarities between my photos and the movie set