manifesto : i've looked fear in the face...every day


i've never been one to seek an adrenaline rush...i like to mosey, to walk, to watch, to breathe.

however, i can't tell you how much gratification and joy i receive when i look a fear
right in the face and charge right through it with forcefulness, grace, and wisdom.
i love the way it gets my heart beating, and the way it makes me want to dance (mostly to this).
forget simply leaning in--i want to jump, dance, shout, sing in.

what have i been afraid of?
::graduate school--but i'll be graduating this summer at oxford. dancing about that one.
::playing the violin--started two years ago and love every scratchy note as they become more clear and pure.
::buying a house--we move in at the end of may
::starting a business--i'm quitting the cubicle (yay!) and starting two businesses
::telling people what i think--turns out people like what i think, and if they don't, oh well.
::laughing and talking too loud--CAN YOU HEAR ME?!
::authority figures--not anymore. i was born to push back, to question, to want something better.
::setting boundaries--i've got some pretty good ones in place, and am about to set some more.
::climbing mountains--climbed the grand teton last fall, and will be announcing a new goal to climb another mountain.

if you didn't catch that, i'm lookin' at my last couple of days in a cubicle...
this has been so hard for me. i've always thought to be valued i needed a "real" job--whatever that means.
the cubicle was not for me, friends. and it never will be.

i've decided to own the fact that i do things differently and like to make new paths...
so here i go. two businesses to wrangle down and get going.

would love to hear what fears you've looked straight in the face. would love to hear about your strengths, confidence, and courage.


(p.s. after i looked another fear in the face last night i was full of dancing--ceej was supposedly "playing solitaire on his phone...turns out he was filming me "bust da move". pray the gods don't ever let that out in the public)


Gretchen said...

I love Eleanor Roosevelt. My gave me an album of an interview she gave when her biography was released. So interesting! I can lend it to you if you have a record player :) But I imagine you can find it online too!

Wishing you the best on all your endeavors!

N said...

If ever there was an overachiever, it would be you, Ann. You are so inspiring in everything that you do. It is especially motivating to see the hurdles you have overcome and how you have thrived in each endeavor.

The best of luck to you with your two (!!) new businesses. I can't wait to hear more about them!

Nat xo

Unknown said...

LOVE this post, friend. your words spoke volumes to my heart. xx

Unknown said...

such a beautiful post. love the quote!!

jmw said...

Your beautiful thoughts and this great quote have been absolutely STUCK in my head since reading yesterday. Thank you for inspiring and getting my dusty brain cells going again. :)

shipbuilding said...

the cubicle was not for me either : )

I am into my third year of working for myself and I can
honestly tell you that the hardest days I have faced in
running my own business are still far more enjoyable than
the best days I ever had in any cubicle job.

it's still scary at times and I sometimes question if I have
enough courage and conviction to keep on the path I've chosen
but at the same time I know I will never, ever regret trying.

Sera said...

I feel like I'm pinning these manifesto posts every week. They are just so darn good. Thank you so much for the inspiration/motivation.
<3 Sera

Inge said...

These posts always strike a chord with me and get me thinking. I recognize a lot of the fears you mention, one of my biggest ones being telling people what I think. I still struggle with this and often decide to just let it go because it's hard to be attacked every single time. But it's still one of main goals, since I think saying what you think about things you care about will strengthen your confidence in them and make you really live by what you believe. It'll really help to live in an environment that fits me better.

There are so many fears on a daily basis, but the ones I've looked straight in the face is starting my own business and living in another country, and leaving behind my safe environment, for a while. Or at least, I will be from the end of May.

So excited to hear more about your businesses!

Anonymous said...

Just perfect Ann. I would like to know what application or program do you use to make this awesome images... Next year I'll be Dudley House Fellow (at hvd, you know) and I'll need to create appealing posters to my cultural workshops... Don't you mind to share your secret with me? xoxo tvmnpic (IG)