Yes, the time has come for me to get a job. My days of cooking, reading, and learning to speak French must end. There is a time and a season for everything, yes? However, there is nothing more humorous to me as the classifieds. These corporate people try to rope you in, like working in a cubicle is the best thing that could ever happen to you. Here's a couple jobs I applied for this morning.
"Goal Oriented Receptionist Needed For Fast-Paced Company"
Seriously. Who are they kidding? I always feel so patronized when reading some of these ads. Do they really think that anyone that applies for the job is not going to claim to be "goal-oriented"? Here's my favorite line from the ad: "Super star assistant Needed ASAP"...ooh! ooh! Pick me! Job Requirements: " Must be efficient in asnwering 6 incoming lines, fliling, faxing, meet and greet and willing to take on more experience." "Don't Miss Out On This Opportunity!". Are you kidding me? Opportunity? Opportunity to waste my life away? No thanks. I'm crossing my fingers they don't call me back.
Administrative Assistant
"A fast-paced growing legal-based office is looking for a motivated administrative assistant." Motivated? Should I tell them I wake up at 5:30 AM even when unemployed because I have a life to live? Here's some requirements for your enjoyment: "1) Computer skills is a must" Skills? Check.
"2) Great telephone skills and in person customer service"...? "
4) Team Player" my favorite of all time...reminds me of when a good friend started working at a restaurant in Sandy, Utah called The Mayan. They were a great team, weren't they Ash?
"8) Attention to Detail" This is killin' me! And, finally, this is where they'll have a hard time finding someone,
"9) Have Great Personality". Sorry for all the sarcasm, people, but I can't help it!
What I Really Want To Do For A Job:
I want to find a pretty antique table, paint it sea foam green (the color of my family's cabin), laden it with fresh produce and home-made goodness, set it up on a corner and charge people a minimal fee, if they can afford it.
And/Or I want to teach yoga. I want to find a pretty little space, get some sponsors, and offer yoga classes for a price chosen by the student.