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manifesto monday & project film : courage

10.04.2010



i have been thinking about courage a lot lately...which means i've been thinking a lot about fear as well. every morning i ask for more courage, for more trust. i try to listen--trying to keep the optimistic thoughts while acknowledging the fear. i've come to terms, for now, with fear. you see, i can't seem to be courageous without it. so it must be there. but so will my optimism and resolve to keep going despite those heavy "what if's"

some of you might recall my "liberation list"--my effort to de-clutter my life. i seem to have finally emptied my life of goals that were good, but not best. i'm quite excited about this. about as excited as i am when fall weather finally makes its way into my life...and maybe i'm even more excited really.

over the past few years i've been frantic about what i was going to do with my life...what career was i finally going to settle on. i tried every hobby known to humans, and thought about every degree. the more pressed for time i felt, the busier i seemed to make myself. frantic. that's the word to describe the last three or so years of my life.

i knew simplifying was a must...but it was difficult to know what to throw 0ut. until this weekend. i heard some amazing advice about slowing down life, especially when life becomes difficult. it hit me.

i realized that i was already in graduate school {and headed for oxford this summer!} and didn't need to have anxiety attacks over studying for the GRE to apply for two more (yes, i'm crazy sometimes) degrees. so one graduate degree is fine, thank you very much. goodbye GRE flashcards!

friday night ceej and i watched some of my favorite musicians perform on the interweb. i was so enchanted, as i always am with good music. ceej asked me if i could choose to be an "expert" at one art/craft what would it be. i didn't even hesitate: music. so not only am i keeping my minimal piano skills, but i'm starting up lessons again, and picking up another instrument (violin or cello...what's your vote?).

and, finally, the third thing on my list: service. i want whatever it is i do with my life to include helping people. i'm not sure how that will look yet, but i want to open myself to more opportunities and jobs that allow me to help people who suffer in one way or another.

so here's my "keeping" list:
grad school/writing
music
humanitarian work

three things. i have no idea where this will take me. i only know i need to be doing these things right now. that's the scary part...not knowing where these passions will take me, trying not to think about a specific job that should come out of all of this. i'm learning to trust that hard work at what i love will lead to good things.

so, i begin to sail my ship.

this i believe.

10 comments:

Char said...

bravery - a beautiful thing really. so many of us never know how brave we are until we really try.

happy journies on this path!

Jamie said...

I'm feeling very inspired by your post. I've been searching for direction lately, thanks for passing on what you've learned.

Julie said...

You just said everything I too had a realization about this weekend. The words of advice made me stop dead in my frantic tracks and just listen.

Your words are beautiful and inspiring.

stephanie said...

Whenever I read your posts, I feel like I need to be wrapped in a blanket and drinking something warm. The way you write is amazingly comforting.

Courage and bravery...very good things to think about. I don't think I think about them enough. I get to content with life to get into places that take courage. I should think about that.

Dancing Branflake said...

I just talked to my husband on Saturday about this. Reaching out. Doing more. Very inspiring post.

Brittany said...

I feel like I'm in this spot too. Thanks for writing this; it really helped me today.

Your list is wonderful. You'll do some wonderful things.

Netti said...

I love this post so much!! It's put beautifully, and I think that those three keepers on your list are definitely worth keeping.

PS. I can see you playing Irish jigs on the fiddle. But either Violin or Cello would be fantastic!

krissilugbill said...

what a beautiful post! i have been feeling like i need to simplify as well. your keeping it list is very inspiring :) that quote is one of my favorites!

LeeNguyen said...

Nice blog! I like your writing way. I'm doing practice GRE here: masteryourgre.com . I hope it's useful for GRE test takers.

sarah sample said...

anna,

what a beautiful post. I loved it. and I agree that we are all good at being busy with good things but not the best. I think you are a lovely musician and I can't wait to hear more. love you.
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