29 : into grounding fog

today i turn 29-years-old.
i love the sound of 29.
i love thinking about the changes i've made
over a year...


as you, dear reader, are already aware of
i ache for foggy weather,
for mornings misty and glimpses of the moon through
clouds moving deliberately slow.

i often wonder why it is that the fog is so enlightening, so soothing
to me when it seems that the opposite would be the case...
but i awoke this morning at 5 o'clock knowing why it is that i
need the fog.

i am an easily distracted woman,
wanting to try everything, do everything, be everything.
this leads to exhaustion...literally burn-out.

then the fog moves in, full of grace.
it covers the eyes of my soul enough so that
i can only see what is right in front of me,
what matters most.
it cuddles me up in its moisture,
and tells me to sit down on dewy grass
to see what breathing feels like:
it feels like warm pearl tea on a dark winter's night;
it feels like laughing with a sister;
it feels like hearing soft notes on an out-of-tune piano;
it feels like poetic words dripping from a tongue;
it feels like a universe full of stars being born, living, and dying;
it feels like...breathing.

somehow fog makes everything so drastically clear to me.
it tells me what i must do, and hides everything else away.

over the past year i have met fear with new hope & trust;
i have met anger with awe & wonder;
i have met frustration with deliberate action;
i have met speechlessness with one word at a time.
i have met anxiety with a smaller world, a more simple world.

so here's to anther year of striving to be
honest, simple, solid, true.