last week was one of those weeks everything decided to break down: first the car {our car likes to require expensive repairs bi-monthly}, then the computers and internet decided they needed a vacation, then a project i was working on wasn't going well, i tried making ganache for the first time and it was a mess, my schedule was suddenly busy {something i have no idea how to handle because suddenly i realize all of my favorite things during the week have been pushed aside because i said yes to everybody else}, and well, my heart and soul had their bi-monthly break down.
just feeling like nothing is comfortable right now. but also realizing that's how it should be. there's nothing that makes a person grow better than discomfort and great breakings. discomfort demands i ask questions and become ever more deliberate. discomfort demands that i contemplate and change accordingly.
questions i am asking myself:
why do i feel it necessary to say "yes" to everything and anything?
who am i trying to please and why?
am i being too stubborn?
why do i have such a silly attachment to sugar lately?
why have i ignored my body more than usual lately, doing a shorter, lazier yoga practice and being so lax on what i put in my mouth?
why is my closet so full?
why, when balance is always my goal, do i seem to be experiencing such highs and lows?
why am i in such a rush to do everything?
why do i struggle to wake up in the mornings lately?
what happened to winter? really?
why? why? why? {am i sounding like a toddler yet?}
this week i am taking on the discomfort and welcoming it with a bouquet of fresh flowers asking it to stretch me and teach me. then i will grow, avoiding the woes of a static life. this i believe.
just feeling like nothing is comfortable right now. but also realizing that's how it should be. there's nothing that makes a person grow better than discomfort and great breakings. discomfort demands i ask questions and become ever more deliberate. discomfort demands that i contemplate and change accordingly.
questions i am asking myself:
why do i feel it necessary to say "yes" to everything and anything?
who am i trying to please and why?
am i being too stubborn?
why do i have such a silly attachment to sugar lately?
why have i ignored my body more than usual lately, doing a shorter, lazier yoga practice and being so lax on what i put in my mouth?
why is my closet so full?
why, when balance is always my goal, do i seem to be experiencing such highs and lows?
why am i in such a rush to do everything?
why do i struggle to wake up in the mornings lately?
what happened to winter? really?
why? why? why? {am i sounding like a toddler yet?}
this week i am taking on the discomfort and welcoming it with a bouquet of fresh flowers asking it to stretch me and teach me. then i will grow, avoiding the woes of a static life. this i believe.
4 comments:
I have a love hate relationship with discomfort as well. I ask to be stretched and then fight back during the process. Silly.
I'm right there with you and I love the "this I believe" ;)
I don't know if balance should be a human goal. It certainly isn't mine. I think balance is boring. There have to be changes. Life means inconstant change. Having said this. I don't like discomfort at all. And yeah it might make me grow but unfortunately I haven't recognized it.
And thanks for commenting on my blog.
San,
I don't think that balance and change are at odds. I LOVE change...I change every moment of every day. Hopefully that clears things up a bit, and you have already inspired my next manifesto monday!
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