prescription: write a real resume, shake it up, talk to a friend over berry smoothies, cry a little, then make sure to laugh

sometimes i guess i like to shake myself up a bit. it's a strange thing, really. but a necessary thing. everytime i shake things up i am forced to ask myself important questions that move me closer to a dream. so how do i like to shake it up? well, lately i thought i should try, yet again, to go for the 9-5 office job. now, you all know very well that i despise office jobs. thinking about it is torture...so why would i torture myself? quite frankly, it motivates me.
i usually don't get very far beyond the writing a resume part. that word, resume, really kind of makes me sick to the stomach and my eyes squint up in disgust. yesterday i took a break at the park. i wrote a resume that i'd like to write...here's a little peek:

qualifications:
- i'm a human being with both a brain and a heart.
-i work hard at everything. that's what perfectionists do.
-i show up when i tell someone i'll show up.
-i'll listen intently when you talk to me.
-it took me nine years to get my bachelor's degree. but i did it.
-i know how to laugh & and i know how to cry.
-i value family over work.
-i try earnestly to walk the walk.

life experience: success & failure
-i had my first job when i was eight years old. at a tool warehouse.
- i dreamed of being an archeologist...then an athlete, then a mom. i'm none of those.
-i was in all the "smart" classes in school, but i was easily distracted. i passed my exams anyway.
-i didn't get into my first choice of universities. so i went where i didn't know a soul.
-i've been an athlete, a dancer, a musician
-i have seen the stars far, far away from city noise
-i made a wintry trek to a yurt while i had the flu.
-i have been married for 5.5 years.
-i've said some really dumb things. i've said some really helpful things.
-every morning i start my day with ritual.

...you get the point, yes? i liked this resume, a lot. too bad most companies don't hire people who admit to failure. i think that's a shame, really.

after my hour in the park, i met with sophie for smoothies. she said just what i had already started to tell myself: "what are you thinking applying for 9-5's?!" yes, this has all been part of me asking myself what i want to do...and then telling myself to get serious about writing, photography, yoga teaching, etc. sophie gave me the little nudge i needed. i needed a friend to sit next to me and say out loud: you can do it...you have to do it. validation. i'm not crazy to think i can make a living doing what i love. i always knew it. you always knew it. sometimes it's just the cherry on top to have someone agree.

so i came home. happy to see cj when he got home. i cried to him a bit...relieved, mostly, that i have once again affirmed that what i want to do will take a lot of work, but i can do it, and it will be worth it.

after some crying episodes, we started laughing...at ourselves. the gift of humor is the best of gifts, don't you think? sometimes i can get so serious. laughter reminds me that life is good, always.

photos by me. may 2009.