a good story for your monday:

i am putting the finishing touches on my final paper for my class. wahoo!
i can't believe ceej and i haven't gone camping or on any road trips
in over two months! we'll sure make up for it in europe next month.

i love pretty videos like this that inspire us all to get outside.

happy monday!

{p.s. our moving sale went great! but i still have some clothes to sell...so keep an eye out for an etsy shop}

moving sale! we're down-sizing and getting rid of almost everything...come by and see us!

ceej and i have made the big decision to down-size. i've been wanting to do
this for a long time: to shed as much as we can, no matter how attached i am
and live with less so that someday we can give our future kids more
{babies won't be along for another five years or so, so grandmas, don't get too excited yet}.

so we've emptied out our closets, our bookshelves, our cupboards, and even the garage.
this saturday we'll be hosting our first ever yard sale, and we'd love to see you.
the weather should be lovely, and we'd love to see our things find a home with
someone we know would love it.

here's the details (email me for the exact address lady.of.lorien9{at}gmail{dot}com)

MOVING SALE

Saturday, April 28, 2012

8:00am - 12:00 pm

Approx. 2700 S 2000 E SLC, Utah

Clothing: Anthropologie, JCrew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Tulle, and more...
(sizes vary. anywhere from 0 - 4 or XS - M)

Furniture: Pottery Barn, modern reading chair, modern bookshelves, vintage dressers, and more...

Books {which are terribly hard to part with}

Garden Tools: our favorite push lawn mower that works brilliantly, is quiet, and doesn't pollute, and more...

Dishes: Anthropologie, Williams Sonoma, and lots of pretty vintage collectables

Appliances: anyone need a Cuisinart blender/food processor?

I could go for vulnerable about now...and a long vacation across the pond

"knowledge is important, but only if we're being kind and gentle with ourselves as we work to discover who we are. wholeheartedness is as much about embracing our tenderness and vulnerability as it is about developing knowledge and claiming power."


this whirlwind of discovery is indeed exciting as i find that i have so much more
confidence and ability than i have ever allowed myself to admit. here i am.
learning who i am, and finding pleasant surprises as i write more than i ever thought i
could write, expressing my thoughts and feelings in unusual circumstances because
i'm finally getting used to the power of this voice inside of me.


however, i find brene brown's advice so incredibly appropriate as i make a moment
in my busy day/week/month to acknowledge that the tenderness and vulnerability inside me
is still there, and plays an important role on this journey. yes, i am finding power in
confidence, honesty, and action. but after taking a couple moments today to first enjoy
the light of the sunrise, and then to enjoy to slowness of the setting sun i feel that i need
to reconnect to my heart...the part of me that needs to listen to a lone violin or a piano sonata;
the part of me that needs to listen to the rhythm of my own breath; the part of me that wants
to cry because life is so achingly beautiful and far too short.


as much as finding myself is an incredible journey, i am looking forward to some down time
next month when i get to "hop across the pond," as marte would say, to visit her on her island in
norway, then to join her in rome where ceej will meet us and whisk me away to chamonix and paris.
thank goodness for frequent flier miles, gracious hostesses, and ceej for making this happen.
i need this idyllic vacation after making great shifts and changes in my life.
my heart needs me.

how the humanities have made me human

i'm not quite sure my brain has had a moment of quiet for the past couple of weeks...
the ideas have been continuous, and i have been trying to keep up.
so i'm taking a moment to empty some of my thoughts here in this space.

i have often had to defend my humanities pursuits in academia to those of a more "practical" nature--
recently, i have had to revisit my defense in light of my more "practical" change of direction.
i only briefly contemplated foregoing finishing this graduate degree in english literature and creative writing. very briefly. because i immediately called to mind and heart everything that the written word
has taught me about humanity. it has taught me that every word counts. it has taught me how to look
into a soul to realize how complex, how very different, how very much the same humans are. it has taught me that fiction is often closer to the truth than simple fact-telling. reading and writing literary criticism has taught me how to ask questions--my own questions and how to find answers, though they are not always so clear and precise. it has taught me that no matter how original we try to be, we always come back to the same essential truths.

i feel a deep sense of gratitude that i have learned how to dig deep into a poem, a novel, a play
and find what moves a human to be human. in addition to pursuing a more "practical" route, i am also
carrying with me my creativity. creativity + real life skills = dreams. i feel that bringing this balance into my life will ignite a fire not necessarily grand, but full of a light that will show me the way.

thank you, shakespeare. thank you, keats. thank you, donne.


{these are some photos from oxford last summer}

i'm in love with spring and barbara kingsolver...who wouldn't have a serious crush on a woman that possesses so much insight and gumption?

it's true. i too go nuts. and i love it. who cares if promises are broken, or whatever mr. eliot experienced.
i find that spring is always a burst of mighty gusto and determination...just the push i need to get going.

today as i've been happily studying and working i have
been simultaneously day-dreaming. my favorite time to dream.
every word i come across on a page has so much weight.
i wonder how i can use this word, and how this word or that sentence might help me.

i send off a handful of emails reaching out to people who have
traveled the path i hope to travel, and i'm so grateful to strangers who are eager to help.
just a few months ago i would have been afraid of reaching out,
worried that i would appear like a weasling "networker."
but oh how i assumed wrong! people are amazing, and i'm learning so much.

can i tell you how much i love barbara kingsolver? can i tell you how much i love saying
"who cares?!" to any platitude or quote taken out of context?
my past self would have squirmed at the idea of contradicting a poet i  revere and love so much,
but ms. kingsolver has consistantly given me permission to slash through those nice little quotes
that i find so often pasted shamelessly on almost every page of the interweb.
(i too am guilty! i mean, obviously i love a quote that speaks to me...but i definitely reserve the right to tear it apart two weeks or two years from now).

this spring i think i have surprised many with my new direction,
but those who have been such good friends recognize that this direction
suits me best, and are my biggest champions. hooray for people who
have seen you all along.

so what's the big idea? more grad school...a joint degree that involves an mba.
yes, business. the more i tear down my archaic ideas of business the more i find
that it is the perfect creative and effective path for me to pursue. as soon as i made
the decision all sorts of opportunities have presented themselves as i've worked
hard to put myself out there and study my brains out. things haven't necessarily
"fallen" into place--it's just been somehow "easier" to work hard at something
that feels so natural. and now i'm just trying to keep up...while still scheduling
15 minute power naps into my afternoon...

wahoo!

:: this is my quiet easter sunday ::

this earthy holiday of rebirth certainly lifts a heart, and freshens up a stale soul.

things are moving. lots is happening. it's a bit terrifying, but mostly exhilarating.

this spring air, without a doubt, makes magic happen--mostly within this heart of mine.

i'm embarking on scary things. big things. wonderful things. i'm all too aware that

the higher i aim the more dramatic the fall...but, mostly, i'm over it. sort of.

the path? well, we'll see how all the details work themselves out.

but the goal is clear: start my own school. give me ten, twenty years. 

i'll have a school. i've finally given myself a heart-to-heart about real dreams,

not "back-up" dreams when the real dreams seem too crazy.

spring has given me the guts to do hard things. it's given me the will-power

to put my pride aside, to study harder than i've ever studied, to work harder

than i've ever worked--and i'm enjoying every minute of it.

this earth is moving me. is it moving you?

{ceej has arrived safely in china. miss him terribly. one week. here we go.} 

i love all things serendipitous : how friends playing chinese instruments team up with other videographer friends to send these talented artists to china, where i once lived for five months

our friends are pretty super extraordinarily talented. 

i love that our musical friends, matteo, teamed up with some of our favorite

videographers over at tiger in a jar. this is a beautiful combination.

matteo is hoping to raise enough money to fund their chinese music education,

totally a worthy cause. check out more of their music and donate here.
"sweet sweeping joy" is one of my faves. honestly, how can you go wrong
with a violin, a guitar, with that ancient chinese string instrument that i don't know the name of?
it's soothing in a sort of way that carries your imagination off on a kind of western road trip
where you accidentally run into some kids who have actually succeeded in digging to china...
so you all jump in the tunnel and end up on the other side surrounded by a mountains and dumplings.
i absolutely adore this fusion of chinese instruments with western folk music.

and here's another coincidence...ceej is off for china tomorrow for a week.
these days it's all about china. seriously.

{p.s. that opening photo is in our friends' house in one of my favorite places...sheesh! this is meant to be!}

"a thing of beauty is a joy forever"

crisis avoided. i have finished my paper, though it is far from perfect...
who wants perfection anyway? i have certainly found that the things and people
i love most in this world are far from perfect. life is so much easier when
perfection is not the goal. it's something i have to constantly remind myself of.

i absolutely love the sensation i get when i finish something that initially feels impossible.
it's finished, not how i had hoped, but my joy is still pretty substantial.
i feel like joining spring outdoors with a book--thank goodness the final
novel i must read for this semester is jane austen's mansfield park.
i'm going to try to simply enjoy this one while i simultaneously keep my critical sensors alert.

most importantly i'm learning to be content that i will not always be able
to hear every single melody that this big world has to offer.
i can't imagine hearing more melodies than i already do.
i am grateful for those unheard melodies...they move me to contentment.

thank you all for your supportive comments and love!

happy, happy tuesday!

this will make your day...and make you rethink your to-do list

i am in a crisis moment: i have a paper due tomorrow, and i still don't even have
a basic idea of what i want to write about. i'm trying to take deep breaths and
emerge myself in my research, page by page, line by line--in hopes something
will come to this frantic brain of mine.

lately i have felt overwhelmed by the beauty on the internet--there's so much beauty
and i often fall into the trap that all that beauty must be mine...
which unfortunately leads me to a cluttered life. i'm feeling the weight of expectations
and possessions. isn't it crazy how hard it is to simplify?

i ache for simplicity. don't you?

what are your simplicity secrets?

{thanks to my sweet friend, mo, for sharing this lovely video with me}

|spring|

spring somehow makes me wish we were more permanent...that we owned a home,

and that we would be here for decades. why?

because all of a sudden i want to plant roots...real roots.

i want to plant a magnolia tree, and a garden full of summer feasts and autumn harvests.

i want to build furniture, and get rid of that old cheap stuff we bought when we were first married.

spring time kills me in so many ways:

i want to settle, but remind myself my time is not yet;

we need a garden, but can't tear up our rental yard;

i love the warm weather, but unbearable summer heat is around the corner...

spring time is always such a tease.

but i love it. so so much.

hope you're enjoying a lovely weekend outside with loved ones.