Peaceful Uprising

Last weekend my mom and I went to an event at the Salt Lake City Library presented by a new organization called Peaceful Uprising. We heard from Soren Simonson (a city councilman), Terry Tempest Williams (a naturalist and author), and Tim DeChristopher (student activist). I was deeply touched by their sincerity, their energy, and their passion. The thing that struck me most was their kindness. Activists are often envisioned as irrational and out-of-touch, but it was obvious that these people love the earth, love people, love the environment. They each told us ways we could get involved to bring about change in our world...especially an environmental change.

Please visit Peaceful Uprising's web site to find many articles about things like coal energy, civil disobedience, and much more!

I hope some of you will take action...I'm feeling discouraged these days, and would like some help in making the world better!

Friday Issue: The Amazon

This week for my Latin America History class we went the the Amazonia Photography exhibit at the Salt Lake City Library, and then we listened to a panel discussion about the diversity, destruction, and preservation of the Amazon. The photos were beautiful (thought I wished they were larger prints, and in a better location in the library). The panel was enlightening.

The panel consisted of a Brazilian diplomat, a journalist, a biologist, a linguist, an art historian, and an environmental lawyer. Each person talked about the importance of the ecology of this amazing rain forest. It was sad to hear how quickly the trees are being cut down for cattle and agriculture. (You can bet that if you consume any products with soy in them--which is almost everything--that you are contributing a bit to this tragedy...also if you're consuming beef from this region). Anyway, I was shocked at how beautiful and important this place is. I hope there is still enough time to save it.

However, the journalist brought up the point that even if the Brazilian government manages to rescue the forest from destruction it will not help our worsening climate if the rest of us continue to drive our SUV's and consume at the same level we've been consuming at for decades. SO, WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP? Stop buying so much stuff! (You've heard me say it before...but I'll keep saying it, because no one seems to really hear it. So I'll keep reminding you).

Also, you could google search for environmental groups who need donations to help them make a real effort to save the rain forest. You could start by looking at Greenpeace.

I Couldn't Ask For More...

Yesterday Ceej and I spent the entire day together. We went for a drive down south...through Spanish Fork Canyon, over through Fairview and Mount Pleasant...then through Spring City, and to the Birch Creek Ranch, a beautiful place that all of you should visit and support, where friends Zina and Chris are dreamily living...
Then C and I went to an amazing art exhibit of paintings of the southwest. Afterwards we met up with friends, Chris and Amanda, for a little birthday celebration over some authentic Italian. It was all oh so perfect.

enjoy the photos.

It's True

photo by shannon fagon

I can't think straight. I'm in love. Ceej comes in to see me tonight.

Issue 2: Let Go

This is not my typical "issue" for Friday. But I think it is an important issue for all of us who live in such a "go, go, go" world. There is no time to observe, and notice what is really going on. We must take time to notice those around us, and to celebrate with them the wonders of life. I read this excerpt from Meditations from the Mat to my yoga classes this morning.

We Are the Ones We've Been Waiting For

The Yoga Sutras will set the course as, in our travels, we explore each tributary of the eight-limb path. The daily readings that follow are an invitation to get into the canoe of your practice and flow down the river of yoga. You may go deep, into uncharted waters; you will surely encounter challenges and delights along the way. But first you must get into that canoe and let go. In class I say, Let your practice be a refuge from the need to control. And I suggest the same to you: get out of the driver's seat for a while and enjoy the scenery. Let the river of yoga take you where it will. If you hit whitewater, stay in the canoe and keep paddling. When you enter calm pools, do the same.
At a Native American gathering in Arizona for the 1999 summer solstice, a Hopi elder said: "There is a river flowing now, very fast. It is so great and swift that there are thoes who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and suffer greatly. Know that the river has its destination. The elders say we must push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves, for the moment we do that, our spiritual growth comes to a halt. The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves; banish the word 'struggle' from your attitude and vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred way and in celebration. We are the ones we've been waiting for."

So, take a deep breath, and push off from the shore. Let go. Be still, and watch the scenery.

Read more about our classes this morning here.

Friday Issue: For the Love of Money

Yesterday I finally got around to listening to this RadioWest program. Robert Kaiser reports on how lobbying has changed over the past 40-50 years, and what that means for politics. Basically, his argument is that money is central. Americans favorite passtime is making money (not playing baseball). He does not advocate for the complete anhilation of lobbyists, but examines their motives and tactics. Are they proper? Is it right? I have to admit that I would like lobbyists to continue to be part of politics...I'd just like a whole new breed of lobbyists. Maybe one day you and I could be lobbyists...we'd be honest and transparent in our dealings, and fight true injustices, and we'll do it all for beans. Go here to listen for yourself. Then let's all read the book.

5-Year Plan

I just took fifteen minutes to quickly write up a tentative plan-o-dreams. It's all looks so simple and nice on my little notecard. Easy, right? I'll be taking extra doses of Dr. Leo Marvin's advice: baby steps. (by the way, Ceej doesn't know about my full-blown plan yet, so let's surprise him here!)

May 2009: Attend the INHUT (Integrated Natural History of Utah) program where I'll get to learn about intimate spaces in Utah, and learn to write about my experience.

Summer 2009: spend time in sunny California with Ceej...going to farmer's markets, driving through small towns, and eating giant macarons! (and doing a little studying for the GRE in all my spare time).

Fall 2009: Back to the UofU to further get over my fears, create stronger relationships with professors, write more, and take the biggest leap: apply for the Bread Loaf program and one other graduate program (why not get two master's degrees?)...I haven't decided what the other one will be yet.

Winter 2010: Go to school in Dingle, Ireland.

Summer 2010: Begin classes at one of the Bread Loaf campuses.

Fall 2010: Begin second graduate program.

Spring 2012: Graduate as a master of _________________.

Summer 2014: Graduate as a master of Bread Loaf!

Then I'll take a year off...then start my next phase of life...teaching (and maybe parenting).

Save the Date!

You know what's coming!

IRISH NIGHT!

It's our 5th Annual celebration of all things Irish.

SATURDAY MARCH 7TH

Keep checking the blog for more details.

(there might just be some serious jigging and reeling this year).

everyone is welcome!

Tag! I'm IT!

(photo by deborah paauwe)

My beautiful friend, Natalie, tagged me with the "happy tag". Here I go!

6 THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

(in no particular order)

1. Listening to a woeful Irish fiddle, listening to Irish folklore, and singing Irish songs. Ireland.

2. Throwing theme parties.

3. Books, books, books!

4. Fresh flowers.

5. Storms!

6. CJ's laugh, his love for life, his creativity and wisdom, and his sincerity.

I tag Andrea, Linds, and Aleena (in hopes she'll post again soon!)

In My Perfect World...

(photo by annabel mehran)

This post is more like a diary today. So many things on my mind. It will be long. I hope if you take the time to read it that it might just spark some questions of your own. I don't have all the answers. I don't think anyone does. We just do the best we can, and try to truly love everyone yes? I'd prefer you didn't comment here (but if you must, you must)...I hope this provokes you to blog your own "In My Perfect World" post.

1. There would be no "inflamatory" rhetoric...let me explain. People would not call women who get abortion murderers...because you have no idea what suffering that woman has gone through, or might have yet to go through. People would not make fun of each other for their beliefs--religious or non-religious...when it comes down to it, we're all human beings trying to do good deeds. People would not use words such as "liberal", "conservative", "socialist", etc to degrade each other...we should probably learn what all those terms mean anyway...you might find something you like. Do you follow me?

2. Environmentalism would be seen as the virtue it really is. We would realize that we truly are stewards of this earth...that the earth is alive...that it symbolizes so much...that consumerism is killing the earth and everything on it.

3. We would value true simplicity, and be more productive, rather than consumeristic. Health and happiness does not depend on how much we have? How many times do we have to hear it before we believe it? Oh, to live the simple life!

4. We would know our neighbors, and support them. We would take care of each other in times of need...bearing each other's burdens. How do we bear each other's burdens when we don't even know each other?

5. Everyone would have a garden, and a nice little house to live in. We don't need monster houses in urban sprawl areas. We just need small little houses, and food to grow.

6. We would welcome disagreement and discomfort in all its forms. Everyone would have a voice everywhere.

7. Lobbyists would disappear from politics and government. Will people like me ever have a voice?

8. We would all know who we really are, men and women, and that we could all live our dharma (life-path).

9. Crying would be encouraged. Anger and pain would be allowed. Silence would be revered.

10. Intuition would be valued more than intellect.

11. Emotions would be just as important as politics.

12. Stars would be more visible at night (no more light pollution).

13. Everyone would know what stage the moon was in on any given night (if you want to know, it's waning at the moment).

14. Our lives would be slower...we could go on casual walks, read books, and talk on the front porch.

15. There would be opposition..."perfect" does not mean without problems and trials. People would still disagree with me (but kindly, please), and people would want things differently than I would.

16. I could teach. I could write. I could sing. I could dance. I could laugh. I could cry.

17. We could all choose where we wanted to live.

18. I could disagree with you...with reverence.

19. Professors would listen to students, and listen to their hearts as well...and students would listen to their professors and their hearts as well.

20. We could all be part of a fellowship.

21. There would be lots of storms and change.

Your turn

Manifesto Monday: Distraction

This weekend, my Valentine distracted me.

I did absolutely no homework.

I didn't do much of anything, really.

Distractions can be a good thing. This, I believe.

Countdown to Valentine's. No. 2

(photo by Annabel Mehran)

There's nothing that would match the sheer excitement and surprise of your boy showing up at your doorstep, in a suit, holding the most beautiful flowers. Wouldn't you agree? So simple, but oh so thoughtful!

Today, I got the next-best-thing since my boy happens to be 630 miles away. Ceej had flowers delivered to me today (because he heard I that I was "in labor"). What a sweet surprise for me!

can hardly wait for this LOVEly weekend!

Giving Birth to a Full-Grown Man

I don't know if I'd recommend it--giving birth to a full-grown man. And, yes, I'm speaking from personal experience. And, yes, I'll explain.

Right now, I'm in labor. I'm convinced, as of this moment, that what I want to do with my life is get my master's degree and a PhD in order to teach and write. This is an extremely difficult quest I've put myself on. I constantly feel out of place as I try to write essays that are outlined "logically", and as I attempt to make reasonable connections and comments. Each time I am asked to write a paper, or required to contribute to a discussion I go through a painful contraction of sorts that rips my heart out because my answers are never quite right. Ever.

So that's the labor part. The actual birth part seems beyond my capabilities. Here's some more explanation:

As a woman, my primal force and overall energy is that of Shakti--this energy is the physical manifestation of everything on the earth, a feminine energy (it is an energy of creativity--in the literal sense). This is not to say that I don't have any masculine energy--I do, as do all women, but it is not the dominant energy so to say. Men's dominant and primal energy is that of Shiva-logical and pertaining to things that exist as thought.

With that confusing explanation, I'll draw theses conclusions:
1) That as I try to enter the realm of logic I am using my feminine creative energy to fully awaken those logical energies that seem to be very dormant inside of me (still with me?).
2) Perhaps as I get more and more in touch with my creative energies, I am trying to create something in my life that I never had
3)MOST IMPORTANTLY: I need a "doula" of sorts to coach me through this birth. I need someone to guide me and tell me when to breathe. I need someone to tell me that no matter how bad it hurts, it's worth it. I need someone to tell me that I do indeed have the power to create something that is very foreign to me. I need someone to tell me that because I am a woman I can make this happen. I need someone to tell me that within me is the ability to bring something from the realms of thought into a physical reality.

by now, i've lost most of you, yes? oh well. story of my life as a writer...

Countdown to Valentine's. No. 1

(photo by cig harvey....again!)

Can't wait for a litle dance with Ceej. I'm a sucker for Ella and Frank.

heaven, i'm in heaven

and my heart beats so that i can barely speak

and i seem to find the happiness i seek

when we're out together

dancing cheek to cheek

Now, if only we had a little treehouse to dance in - far away and under the moon & stars. We could string up some party lights, and dance to exhaustion.

After Skiing

Ceej loves to go to Lonestar Tacos after a day of skiing.

So that's what we did last Saturday.

Can't wait to do it again!

Manifesto Monday: Honesty

photo: by cig harvey

Everyone believes in honesty, right? Well, I've awakened to a place in my life where I haven't been very honest. Recently I have been talking to a few professors about my desire to go to graduate school. Every time I make an appointment I have to do some serious mediation and breathing to calm myself down. The last thing I want to do is cry in front of one of my professors. Yes, I cry a lot when I think of how far I have to go. It looks hard. I also cry because of my past (not very yogi-like, I know, but it is what it is). My point is, is that when I speak to my professors about graduate school I am not completely honest with them. Perhaps this excerpt from The Power of Kindness will say it better:

But honesty does not concern only the difficult, unpleasant aspects in life. Even more it concerns the creative and beautiful ones. Because often, strange as it might seem, we hide those very aspects: our tenderness, goodwill, original thoughts, our capacity for being moved. We do this partly out of a sense of reserve: We don't want to overwhelm others with our gushing emotions. But mostly we do it to protect ourselves. We don't want others to see us like that. We would feel weak, exposed, perhaps ridiculous. Better to appear a bit cynical, even hard, or, at the very least, not so dangerously open. In that way, however, we separate from the most spiritual and beautiful part of ourselves--and prevent others from seeing it.

I am afraid of looking ridiculous, and exposing my real tenderness and my original thoughts. I am afraid to tell my professors why I truly want to go to grad school, and I am afraid to tell them what I feel are my "original" thoughts. Sigh. So in my efforts to be kind, I must also be honest, no matter the emotions that come gushing out. This I believe.

Summer Dreams

So now that I've told you about my education dreams abroad--let me tell you where I'd like to spend my next four summers (well, beginning in 2010). About a year ago a friend emailed information about the Bread Loaf School of English based in Vermont at Middlebury. Here I can receive a M.A. without taking the GRE or writing a thesis...but that's not what really draws my heart here...

Listen to the names of some of the courses:
Rhetorics of Silence
The Country House in English Literature
Writing About Place
Shakespeare and the Body
Ghost Stories
The Language Wars
Describing the Imagination
Shakespeare, Nature, and the Human
Virgina Woolf and the Art of Bloomsbury
The Poetry of W.B. Yeats
History and Memory
Realism and Documentary Impulse

There are four campuses: New Mexico, North Carolina, Oxford, and Vermont. Can you imagine? Being in such inspiring places while you study literature, creative writing, etc? It would indeed be the stuff dreams are made of. I'm working my little brain out to create a strong application. We'll see if I can stick to it, and jump this Empire-State-Building-sized-hurdle.

p.s. I realize this isn't my weekly issue roundup...I'm horribly slacking in the current event sector. I have no idea what's going on...other than the land auctions have been cancelled!!!

A Writer's Dream

My mom and I just finished watching a documentary on the life of the great American author, Wallace Stegner. I've read three of his books in my life, and have loved every one. After watching the biography, I want to read ALL of his books...but that will have to wait until summer time.

I was taken by his dedication to his education, to the environment, and to his writing. I was especially interested in how he mentored his students. As I walk around campus these days I find myself hopelessly dreaming of having a mentor. I wonder if professors ever seek out the underdogs...the shy students who just need a little push, a little something that would say, "I know you've got it in you, let me point you in the right direction." Why do I feel like the days of professors as mentors is over?

Could really use a Wallace Stegner in my life right about now.

Kirtan & White Mountain Yoga

Saturday night I went to a fantastic kirtan at White Mountain Yoga.

The band was AMAZING, and the crowd was sincere.

Hope you can make it next time.

And we can dance and chant together!

I'll be spending my entire day at White Mountain Yoga tomorrow. I can hardly wait. There are great things happening there...you should check it out!

A "Mmmm" & A "Sigh".

So magical & beautiful. Been listening to this over and over lately.

Manifesto Monday: Time With the Girls!

I believe that spending time with other women is essential to survival. For some reason when CJ and I were first married I became a hermit and seldom spent time with any of my girlfriends or sisters/mom. I don't really know why I did that, but I did. After a few months of being married I had a good friend come visit me...what a blessing she was! We talked and talked, and I learned that I was NOT crazy...or maybe I was, but at least she was crazy too! I was amazed at how much stress was relieved by our laughing and talking together. It saved me from losing my mind and having a serious breakdown. CJ noticed my improved mood, and has encouraged "girl time" ever since. When I'm happier, so is he--naturally! This I believe.

This last weekend I had LOTS of girl time. It was oh so good for the heart and soul!
First, Olivia and I went skiing on Friday up at Alta. We got to talk about how good life is, and how good our significant others are! We laughed about how dramatic we can be, and how we love being women!!

Saturday I went with my mom and my sister to do a ritual that is as old as time. After we did that the smorgasborg began!

First we hit up Elizabeth's Tea house for scones, quiche, and meat pies to take to the grandparents.

Then we headed over to Mini's Cupcakes for a sweet treat indeed.

I could spend an entire Saturday afternoon here!

After lunch & a visit with our grandparents, the girls headed back out again. This time we stopped by The Black Sheep Wool Co. to get some yarn and knitting needles.

(And we may have stopped next door at Backer's and got heart sugar cookies!)

HIP, HIP HOORAY FOR LOVELY WOMEN!

ZNH Night...Success!!

Thanks to everyone who came and participated! Thanks to those who brought food, and to those who ate it! Thanks to those who endured bad acting in the documentary! Thanks to those who read stories aloud! I haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time! Below is one of our favorite stories from the night:

Why the East Coast Has Storms & Mosquitos

Well, one Christmas time, God was goin' to Palatka. De Devil was in de neighborhood too and seen God goin' long de big road, so he jumped behind a stump and hid. Not dat he was skeered uh God, but he wanted to git a Christmas present outa God but he didn't wanta give God nothin'. So he squatted down behind dis stump till God come along and then he jumped up and said, "Christmas gift!" God just looked back over his shoulder and said, "Take de East Coast," and kept on walkin'. And dat's why we got storms and skeeters--it's de Devil's property.