Pretty Hat For Me!

The talented Holly Jo made this lovely hat for me. It's my new favorite. These hats are a lovely gift idea for family and friends: local, hand-made, pretty, and practical. Visit her blog to let her know you would like 3 or 4!

Driving Over the Mountains & Through the Desert

We'll be leaving EARLY tomorrow morning for home. Can hardly wait! We're hoping for good driving weather, and no car trouble. We should be fine. Who knows when I'll blog again...maybe tomorrow, maybe next week. We shall see.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

In Gratitude & Awe

Tomorrow Ceej and I head out on our nine-hour-drive home. Hip, hip, hooray!Can hardly wait for the 40-something-degree temperatures, the frosty mornings, and rain in the forecast. Of course, I am most looking forward to seeing family--laughing, talking, eating.


For the past few days I have been listening to Aaron Copland's "Appalachian Spring" suite--composed for a ballet coreographed by the great Martha Graham. It has been stated that this piece of music captures "the essence of an ideal America, one of open fields and endless possibilities." NPR also adds, "An emotional highpoint of the score is a melody based on a traditional Shaker song, “Simple Gifts.” We hear a chorus sing the original hymn that provided Copland his inspiration, then listen to Copland’s beautiful solo vocal and instrumental adaptations. Throughout the work, Copland brilliantly weaves melodies that evoke simplicity and the “earnest but good-natured piety” of Shaker culture."

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.

I am aware that the above movie montage of the Appalachian Spring suite coupled with the photographs of Ansel Adams might be cheesy or unoriginal to many of us--but I am drawn to the simplicity of it and that it, at the same time, gives a sense of grandeur and expansiveness to the beauty of this land--the beauty of the earth.

This Thanksgiving week I am most grateful for this earth. If I could learn to move and work as the earth does, I think I would reach enlightenment. It is what it is. It does not try to be something else. It has stayed the same, basically, for thousands and thousands of years--it does not change with trends, and it feels no need to hurry. I love that that when we take the time to watch the earth it can bring us peace through a slight breeze, and the rustle of leaves. But it can also move our souls to empower us with dark, ominous clouds and crashes of thunder. Finally, I want to point out that the simple beauties of the earth are just that--simple. But they continue to awe and inspire us. Perhaps if we would all simplify our lives we too would inspire more.

For the beauty of the earth,

For the beauty of the skies.

For the love which from our birth,

Over and around us lies.

Lord, of all, to thee we praise,

This our hymn of grateful praise.

Manifesto Monday

I believe in family traditions. Like most kids, I spent my Thanksgivings at my grandmother's house with aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins--nothing unique or clever even. However, there are special things about the way we do Thanksgiving as a family. Now, don't get me wrong--when I say "special" I don't mean extravagant or fancy--our Thanksgiving are anything but those. Our Thanksgivings consist of family recipes, made by the women for generations. Days go into the preparation of the food. Creating the food is indeed a sacred process. I, who never really knew my great-grandmother, Annie, know her through the recipes she passed to my grandmother, who, in turn, passed them to my mother. Of course, we make what every other family makes: mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, cranberry sauce, rolls, etc. But my stuffing will not taste like yours, and you'd probably argue that your family recipe is better, and I'd argue just the opposite. Funny how loyal we are to our family Thanksgiving recipes. Dessert, of course, is pumpkin pie--but there is always banana cream pie as well. I usually take one of each. So the food is definitely important, but the thing I love most is the laughing at the table. There is something about my mother's family that I cherish: their humor. This always comes out when they get together. It is inevitable. As we've grown up, and we don't see the entire family anymore, this is what I miss most. We still have the right food, but we don't always have everyone there. Nevertheless, we go on as we have for generations. This is my connection to family now gone--our traditions. Through the traditions I can smell the smells that they would have smelled, I will taste the foods they tasted, and I will hear the stories they would have told. This I believe.

photo is of a Thanksgiving dinner at my Great-Grandma's, Annie Thayne, house for a Thanksgiving dinner--probably around 1952. My sweet mom is at the bottom-left corner (looking identical to my sister, Liz). Celia Jane is behind my mom, and Annie Thayne herself at the bottom right corner. Three women I owe all my gratitude to.

Issue 2: "Reparation of Church and State"

Lately I have been involved in many discussions over the role religion should/should not play in government and politics. Last night I read these articles on this blog all entitled "Reparation of Church and State." Make sure you read all 5 sections. So this weekend, instead of watching a half hour of a TV show (that you probably didn't even want to watch in the first place) read this.

Some excerpts:

The politics of beauty and mercy seek what all great reforms (and reformers) have sought: to universalize their radical subjectivity through the fundamentally unfounded logic of the State...

So far, my response has been an essay on politics, particularly the way that we have misunderstood politics and reduced it to consensus democracy. Now I want to focus on religion. Specifically, I want to decide whether or not religion is uniquely capable of doing what the State cannot-namely, to usher in and universalize the politics of beauty, joy, and mercy.

Thanks, Ashley, for beautiful thoughts.

Friday Issue Roundup: Issue 1: Land For Sale

This first issue is something I CAN'T YELL ABOUT LOUD ENOUGH!!!! President Bush along with the BLM will be auctioning off millions and millions of acres in Utah (as well as Colorado and Wyoming) to oil development. The scary thing is, is that they're timing it just right--so that President Elect Obama will have no chance of undoing what they've done.



I'm asking all of you take 5 minutes of your time and a measly $10 (or $25, or $50, or $100) to do something about this. Go to this site here. Everyone I talk to is always wondering what to do to help...this one is easy. I'm not asking you to come out to a protest (though that would be great), I'm not asking you to even write a letter (though I'd appreciate that as well). I'm asking you for a small amount of time and a small amount of pocket change. Donations will help SUWA fight the legal battle ahead--at least it will help them stall the Bush Administration until Bush is out.

The saddest part is, is that this will affect some of the most beautiful areas in Utah--areas that are popular for campers, bikers, climbers, etc. This is beautiful and sacred land, and I hope you feel the urgency that I feel to preserve and protect it. Read more about it here, here, here, and here. And make sure to check CJ's blog for more info as well.



THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WILL ALL BE AFFECTED BY. PLEASE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, NOW!

Taking Things Into My Own Hands

In an attempt to force the holiday spirit into my life, I did a couple things last night. First, I made these delicious apple streusel cinnamon swirl cupcakes that I randomly found on this blog (made mine vegan-style: substituted apple sauce for eggs, and left out the butter). They are some pretty amazing cupcakes. I would definitely try them if I were you. Then, Ceej and I snuggled up to watched some Charlie Brown holiday specials. Thanks, Charlie Brown, for bringing the holiday spirit to us here in sunny California.

photo via hostessblog

Playing Tag

So Linds tagged EVERYONE, and I'm taking a break from homework...so here it goes.

I AM: that

I WANT: to go to graduate school. Preferably here, here, or here.

I HAVE: too much stuff!

I DISLIKE: pecans & walnuts...especially in brownies and cookies. yuck!

I MISS: family, mountains, friends, fall, and snow

I FEAR: failing

I FEEL: nostalgic

I HEAR: ray lamontagne

I CRAVE: pumpkin pie or fine cheeses

I USUALLY: cry at the end of good movies

I SEARCH: history books

I WONDER: about my ancestors...especially the women

I REGRET: not studying harder in high school

I LOVE: taking walks on rainy fall days with Ceej

I CARE: about the earth

I ALWAYS: start my day with asana and pranayama practice

I WORRY: about politics

I REMEMBER: stories that my grandparents tell

I BELIEVE: that everything is connected

I SING: all day long

I DON'T ALWAYS: wash the dishes after dinner

I ARGUE: about politics

I WRITE: historical essays, poems, and songs

I WIN: a vacation to Ireland...in my dreams!

I LOSE: track of time

I WISH: I could tell the future

I LISTEN: to hearts

I DON'T UNDERSTAND: a lot of things--math and science especially

I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: studying

I NEED: 24 hours of yoga and meditation...followed by a massage

I FORGET: rarely

I AM HAPPY: to be alive!

I TAG: Holly Jo, Hasenpfeffer, Ceej, Jenny, and Pamy

New Look

What do you think of the new look? Leave a comment to let me know. This new look is a trial--any thoughts would be helpful.

This photo was taken of me a year ago by Ceej with the Lubitel. It has some of my most favorite things in it: trees, boots, umbrellas, fall leaves, Salt Lake City, wellies, and soul. I'll be using it for my new profile photo.

Trying To Feel Festive

It is hard for me to really feel like Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK! So I spent a few minutes this morning looking for images that would help me get into the holiday spirit. These are some of my favorites.
Just love the fall colors here. And it just looks warm and cozy.

Wishing for some morning fog and frost these days. I don't know that I'll experience such mornings here. Too bad.

More misty fog. Why is California so warm? I'll have to find my way to the mountains again.

Graflex

So we have this photographer friend who is absolutely amazing at what he does. For many of his photos he uses an old-fashioned Graflex camera, like the one Miss Dorothea herself is holding in the photo above. Our friend's name is Matthew Turley. If there is any photographic bone in your body you should really check out his site. I've been drooling over it for a while now. Ceej is dying to get his hands on a refurbished Graflex himself. Someday.

Most Beautiful Cover Ever

I think I've got a new crush. These two women are absolutely beautiful...those voices! Makes me homesick for Mo, Sarah, and Ashley--the only women willing to sing along with me. Anyway, love this cover. Love that they just decided one morning to go to the woods to sing a pretty song (a Fleet Foxes song), to record it, and then to share it. Thanks to Pamy for the link! These two girls are the Swedes that make up First Aid Kit.

Manifesto Monday

I'm starting a new little tradition for my blog: Manifesto Monday. Each Monday I will share with you something I believe in--much like the radio program This I Believe that airs on NPR. I will be casually following their guidelines as to how to write a "This I Believe" essay. However, most of my writings will be quite raw--so please forgive any chopiness. I would love for any of you to do the same on your own blogs.

I believe in the power of kind words. About four years ago I applied for a job as an assistant researcher for a well-renowned professor of philosophy at a university. I was a college drop-out at the time, and the only example of my writing I had was a paper written two years previous for an art history course. Not only was that paper not an example of my current writing and research skills, but I had recieved a "C" grade on the paper. Hardly what I had hoped to present to such an intellectual giant, and hopefully future employer. I anticipated our meeting for an interview with great anxiety. "He'll brush me aside quickly, and move on to the next applicant, " I thought. But, oh how badly I wanted that job. I was working full time at a wedding reception center to pay for my husband's schooling. I wanted more than anything to be on a college campus--doing anything remotely scholarly. The moment of the interview came. I handed the professor my "C"-worthy paper. He excused himself for a moment so that he could skim over the paper and the rest of my resume. Oh heart! It was indeed one of those moments that you wish would be over and done with as quickly as possible. Ten minutes later he returned, and sat down next to me at a large and empty conference table. The first words out of his mouth were, "You have a great command over language and words. I am very impressed." What?! Did I hear him right? My heart leaped up, and I wanted to shout for joy. He could have ended there, and I would have been happy indeed. He assigned me to a research team, and I was going to have my dream job. Unfortunately, the university would not allow a non-student to work on the project so I was let go. However, I have looked back to that interview and those kind words over and over again as I am now back in school trying to finish my degree. My writing has since been critiqued and edited--often quite harshly. But those words, "you have great command over language and words" keeps popping up in my mind, and I keep going, trying to find a way to write beautifully and honestly. The power of kind words is great indeed. This I believe.

Perfect Remedies

Yesterday Ceej and I went for a drive to take walks and hikes in Point Reyes National Park. It was just what I needed to calm my heart and mind. There is so much peace in the water and in the trees. I loved seeing the beautiful green countryside along the way.

Today I spent a couple hours with some three-year-old girls who were oh so cute and oh so loving. I love their simplicity and their proclivity to giggle. I'll be calling all my nieces and nephews today to find out what they are loving in life these days. Thanks for all the love and suggestions.

Need Something, Not Sure What.

Perhaps I need to live in one of these turf huts in Iceland. I've been searching the web for the past thirty minutes trying to find beautiful images that will lift my heart, and distract my thoughts for a bit. Would love any suggestions for pretty and/or inspiring images of people, places, things to lift a blah spirit.

On Loving Books & Pretty Things

I don't know what it is about books and pretty dresses that gets my heart swooning-especially if the book is a book of poetry, and the dress is a family heirloom. If I could, I would find a pasture of tall grass near the coast to lie in all day to read my book, look at pretty flowers, and take photographs of every moment.

This photo is a Cig Harvey photograph. Thanks to Ali for the introduction.

My Heart Going Out

Today I have been in contact with oh so many friends and strangers who are heart broken for some reason or another. Just wanted to tell you all how much I love you, and how much I wish I could make it all better. So I'm doing what I can: I'm sending my love and heart your way, hoping you'll feel deeply.

Happy Birthday Ceej!

So I went a little overboard on the photos...but I couldn't resist. Here's a little about my favorite guy in the entire universe!

CJ loves anything to do with snow and friends. This was our "sauna" at the yurt last year. (CJ, Ann, Phil, Hasen)
I always love CJ's night photos. He takes time to capture great moments.

He is always up for a good show. His favorite locals are: Hasenpfeffer & the Bomdiggity, St. Boheme (are you guys ever getting back together?!), Philipe Leffler, Matt Cline, Beaux Underwood, and Mo Edwards.

CJ skiis every month of the year. He missed October this year, and I think it literally broke his heart.

I rarely go skiing in the backcountry with this guy because look at the terrain! No chutes for me, thank you.

This is CJ's favorite place to sleep: on a tarp in the desert.

Indian Creek: one of his favorite places. CJ is a great environmentalist and steward. He is so passionate about preserving beautiful places, and living a more sustainable life. If any of you were wanting to give a gift to CJ, you could just donate to SUWA for him. He'd love you for life!

CJ has a lovely and honest sense of humor. I love all the water sports he's invented. He's guaranteed to make us laugh!

He is a great art lover (and artist himself!). CJ is oh so good at supporting local artists. His favorites are Zachary Proctor and Trent Call. His favorite all-time artist is the awe-some John Singer Sargent.

Basically, CJ can fix anything: our car, our bikes, the computer, the house, my broken heart, etc.

One of CJ's favorite camping passtimes: making shapes with a headlamp. CJ is in this photo, but you can't see him...he's the one with the headlamp.

This is CJ's favorite treasure which is now in the hands of his brother. He misses it oh so much!

He's a food-lover with tastebuds that can sense ANY spice. He's also the only person I've ever known to describe an eating experience as "sacred."

Skiing is definitely CJ's natural gift. He's been skiing since age 2, and is a pro telemarker and teacher.

A bit too scary for me. Thank goodness he wears a helmet!

I can't help but gush over CJ! He's the epitome of "without guile": slow to offense and quick to forgive. He's also got a brain and memory that will knock your socks off. I amazed every day at the things he remembers and processes. He's constantly going: learning, moving, and planning.

I'm sure Ceej would rather be eating a cupcake in Indian Creek for his birthday today. Maybe next year!

CJ climbing in City of Rocks (James belaying).

The float CJ spray-painted for the "Shop Outside the Box" parade that he helped oraganize last year. I love that CJ is so active in the community and politics. He always knows what's going on, and is constantly helping in every way he can.

I love how much CJ loves life and people. He is so dedicated and so loyal. He loves his friends and family dearly. We miss all of you, and wish you could come for our little party tonight!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOVE YOU!

On the Threshold of Dreams

I hope you don't mind a longer post...some thoughts from my heart and mind lately. I'd really appreciate a chance to think aloud about things I dream of and hope for.

Lately I have been feeling the extreme highs and lows of being at a threshold--at the beginning of things that are absolutely terrifying yet beautiful at the same time. Dreams. What are my dreams? I must admit that over time my dreams have changed as I've gained experience, and I'm sure they will change again in the future. So I will tell you the dreams I have today for my tomorrows.

One dream I have is also my biggest anxiety. I would love more than anything to go to graduate school somewhere in the British Isles to study Medieval British Literature. Yes, indeed. I want to fill my days with heroism and ideals--to read stories that are beautiful, and that inspire. I also want to find out the dark side of things, and by "dark" I don't necessarily mean "evil"...I mean "hidden", "mysterious", and "ancient". I, as every human being does, love things that make my heart swell with goodness. But I also love the dark mysteries that are to be sought out. Realizing this dream is oh so difficult somedays. I can be consumed with feelings of inadequacy and cynicism. I can be tempted with mediocrity..."isn't nine years trying to complete undergrad schooling enough?" "I don't need to teach history or literature...I'll be a secretary if need be." No! This would be the death of me. I feel very much at a threshold here, at a place I need to push through and live deliberately.

I want to teach yoga to people who have not the money to practice yoga at a studio. I want to show people how they can access their soul through opening up their bodies and their hearts. I want people to find healing where they need it, and to learn how to share the joy of suffering. I so easily put this dream aside waiting for the perfect space to teach, or waiting for a city we can finally "settle down" in. I need to embrace NOW, and invite people to my limited space in my home.

I want to be involved in politics. I want to be a journalist of some sort, perhaps simply writing op-eds. I want to have dialogues between groups of different opinions. This is scary. I know only a handful of people in my community, and there are hostile feelings currently because of election results. I want to help people understand each other and to understand sustainable policies. I am mustering up the courage to place fliers around the city announcing a weekly group meeting for any people interested in opening up the dialogue.

I want to eat fresh, local, organic food. I want to learn how to make food that will truly feed people. This should be easy, especially since I live in a place where local fresh produce is available year-round. Sheesh.

My all-encompassing dream is to live a sacred and deliberate life. Filled with family, friends, and strangers. I want a life filled with the beauties of nature, and the beauty of words. My dream is to embrace the ebb and the flow of life.

These are only a few of my many dreams. There are more that I might feel inclined to share later. Or not. We shall see.

I'll begin all of this today. Right now. Had this Goethe quote in my head all morning, "To think is easy. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking."

Loves to all of you. I hope you too will vow to live your dreams TODAY!

Our Scottish Weekend

Saturday was absolutely fantastic. We went for a drive on Hwy 1 along the coast, just north of San Francisco. Everything about the drive was perfect. We had a misty rain and fog as we wound through some of the most beautiful country I've seen. I really felt like I was in Scotland or Ireland. We got to see the Zen Center famous for oh so many things. We walked around at Muir Beach. We ate the most delicious meal at the Pelican Inn. We drove through more green, misty hills. We stopped at a local dairy nestled back in the hills. It was more than I could have asked for. Ceej and I are in love with this area. Too bad it's too far of a commute for us to live there. Sigh.

Apple Hill

Our first trip to Apple Hill was about three weeks ago when we took our friend, Ashley, along with us. It would have been great, BUT the whole experience turned into waiting in lines forEVER! Boo. I hate standing around in lines more than anything. They give me headaches, and I get very irratable. So we tried Apple Hill again a few days ago...we planned ahead and went on a weekday with CJ's parents who were visiting us. Much better. No lines. Just yummy apple treats like apple cider donuts, Walkin' apple pie, cider, etc. Loving Apple Hill.

New Neighborhood

Last weekend Ceej and I moved to a new apartment. Yes, it's in the burbs. BUT, we're still within biking distance of work, shopping, and play. Some of you might have already noticed that Ceej and I are practically seniors in many way: we hate loud music at concerts, we don't like loud parties, we're constantly saying, "kids these days...", and we go out to dinner at 5:00 PM. We really like our new place. This is a photo of a park in our neighborhood. I'll be posting some photos of our new place as soon as I can.